Chey’s Lounge

I was looking at the picks I made in my football pool and it got me thinking about choices. Is there really an illusion of choice? Why do people make the choices they do? Are people choosing to rig NFL games against me specifically? Well, that’s one question I know the answer to: 100%. 

Why is it so hard to choose? Maybe it isn’t for others, but sometimes I feel paralyzed by choices, especially when they involve change. It’s obviously a choice to do nothing, but it usually feels so much easier. I think it could be a deceiving feeling, but I don’t want to think too deep into that on a Sunday…. People seem wired to just stick with what they know. I wonder why that is exactly. Maybe I will look it up. Okay, I just looked it up. We are. From what i understand, we prefer familiarity over uncertainty and risk. In many ways, it’s more efficient, especially in the short term, to just maintain the status quo    And of course, people have an aversion to losing what they have, even if it means blocking off something new that could be better. Not to get all sexist, but i wonder if women are even more likely to fear change due to their inability to defend themselves if things go wrong. It definitely didn’t benefit women back in the day to just be contrarians, they’re probably just gonna go with what they feel safest with, which is often going to be something they’re familiar with. Is it infantilizing to women to suggest they’re in a less advantageous position to make choices based solely on their free will versus feeling the effects of societal pressure? Idk, not like I’m not one so idc. We’re really out here just weak and vulnerable lowkey… of course bitches are gonna be manipulative! But then why do they choose to behave in ways that could be dangerous? Idk, let’s not go there. Let’s pivot and wrap it up quick ladies and gentlemen. 

When writing this, the term “habits” came to mind. I feel like it is hard to make good choices consistently, but it’s also hard to make them at all until you start. I think it’s hard to get into a habit because you feel like giving up if you mess up. The longer you keep it up, the easier it is to maintain the habit. So, starting, that is certainly an obstacle. Making the choice to start is important and I don’t think a fear of not maintaining consistency should stop someone from trying to start something new, especially if the stakes are low. Some people find it hard to start new things, others find it difficult to find something they can stick with. I feel like I fall more in the first category. I don’t love giving up on something once I start. I never even changed a class in college. When I start something, there’s a really good chance I’ve made up my mind to commit to it. The problem is deciding what’s worthy of commitment. 

I decided to make a choice to make writing a habit. I decided to post it publicly to hold myself more accountable, despite sharing this with basically no one. Who knows, maybe one day I’m gonna be a writer for real. Jk, I’m not an LLM, my time is gone for that. But hopefully this will make me feel better, give my thoughts a chance to organize, my brain some clarity. Maybe not. I guess no one really knows anything. I do know I’m kinda interested in writing about something obscure, but I’m coming to realize I don’t really want to write too much about shit I don’t really be knowing about publicly. I wonder how the world would change if others, actually, me included, were able to take the time to really understand a topic before speaking on it. I guess it’s fine to speak on anything, it’s just when one chooses to remain closed minded that it’s really a problem. Come to think of it, maybe it is good for people to talk about stuff when they’re ignorant in order to expose it and open them up to education. But people aren’t really very open to that, so maybe it isn’t good. But it could be. We choose how to perceive every situation. We ultimately choose how we think and feel. It’s just really, really hard. Maybe I should explore why one day. Maybe not. Do you know why it’s so hard?