When life gives you lemons, sometimes you just have to make lemonade before you remember you can make lemon chicken. I find I need to actually state the obvious sometimes before I can move on to something else. Similarly, things can just happen and even though you were going to write about random topics the next 2 days to stick with the theme of creating titles that go together in groups of threes, you’ve decided you need to squeeze a different type of story to fit within that framework. Even if you go off script, you can still figure out a way to make it all work out and cover all your bases, albeit not as planned. I have spent much of my life avoiding getting my hopes up. I choose my words in a way it’s obvious I know the future is up to chance. I think I’m coming to realize that what happens truly is mostly what you make of it. One does have some control over their narrative.
Anyways, sometimes life goes off script and you just roll with it the best you can, like spelling the title of a post incorrectly to maintain the triplet vibe while remaining true to the post. I guess this story actually fits within this theme and all will come together in the end like a beautiful little… milkshake. Maybe one of my interests is going off script anyway. Without further adieu…
“You still have the ice cream out.”
“Shoot, I forgot, I’ll go make the shake.”
That’s really where this story starts, it was around 2:25 PM if memory serves me right (if not, it’s close enough!). I was laying in bed, nearly succumbing to the folds of my daily afternoon nap when I heard that. I forgot I had taken out ice cream to make a milk shake. Since you asked, I will tell you how I make them. I am a fierce believer in the sanctity of a chocolate milkshake, but I do use a little vanilla ice cream to bring out the best of the chocolate. I also use some malted milk powder, original, only because I haven’t had the strength to order chocolate online the past few months. Last but not least, the milk. Whole. Recipe aside, I drank the shake. Not too much later, I was off to work.
There’s nothing like pooping on company time, right? Well, that is a theme that saved my life yesterday. It was getting close to lunch and a possible urge struck. I decided to head over to one of the less frequented bathrooms before it gets too close to lunch time (where I normally meet a friend down the road). I go in there and the lights are off, it’s exactly what I hope for when I walk into the bathroom. No one awake is in there and if there was someone sleeping long enough the lights turned off then it would be a great story. A win-win in my book. Once I sat down, I realized the urge which led me there had fizzled away. A bit surprising considering the milkshake from earlier, but I wasn’t going to question it. It wouldn’t be the first or last time I’ve had a false alarm.
There was still some time before lunch and time wasn’t really that big of a factor. I could technically message my friend asking to meet a little later than usual because a last minute meeting with Mr. Dookie Jones came up. Given that, I decided to just stand up and go back to my desk. The toilet flushed, but not really. Hardly anything happened. I used the manual flush button. Same thing. I tried pushing like 4 additional times, just to see if the toilet paper would go down, knowing deep in my heart the effort was futile. I eventually gave up and went to wash my hands. The water pressure was pretty weak, but enough to successfully get the job done. Thank god, since I was treating that flusher like a senior citizen treats the button of a slot machine seconds earlier and I’m really not that into germs like that. My suspicions were raised.
I grabbed a paper towel to dry my hands and the dispenser didn’t function exactly as intended, so the paper towels triggered the sink below to turn on. The water pressure was seemingly better than the faucet to the right of it. Noted it in my mind, went to the door, grabbed the handle with paper towel in hand, of course, and went back to my desk flustered but thankful. Only once I left the bathroom did I realize how lucky I was. I realized how blessed I was- me, Cheyhotdogs. I was there for a reason and if my path didn’t change/I wasn’t willing to accept it, that would’ve been a shitty, embarrassing situation. I know it’s not that embarrassing since no one would know it was me, but I would know, and I wouldn’t be able to help myself. I’d have to tell people despite the embarrassment. True to my nature of having to tell the story, once I got back to my desk, I told a chat with 3 other people about how I was just in the bathroom and the toilet didn’t flush and how I was thanking everything that I didn’t have a meeting with Mr. D. Jones.
Not too much later, I ended up going to lunch. On my way out, I went to a water fountain thingy to fill up a water bottle. I’m normally not a very hydrated person, so it was kind of unusual for me to do so. And there was a guy who was walking towards me and he went to it first. I debated just going to buy a new one from the vending machine, but I waited. The guy wasn’t there very long and I think I can imagine why. The flow of the water was probably 1/5 what it normally is. I happened to see someone I know walking past the fountain at the time and asked if he heard about anything. He hadn’t, but he told me he’d let me know and seemed to agree that something was fishy! I decided to fill up my bottle like 1/8 of the way and move on. Just to check, I went into the canteen before heading outside to check the water pressure of the sink. It really didn’t seem that bad, so I was really wondering what the deal could be. I only have 30 minutes for munch though, so I wasn’t gonna embrace my inner Sherlock Holmes at that moment.
I met up with my friend and filled her in on my findings while we were sitting in my car. We were just chilling for a few minutes. Neither of us were eating or anything. I wasn’t even drinking water, since I didn’t have any!!! Anyway, I totally admitted to getting a call from Mr. Dookie Jones, the man who controls my life. So we cut our dinner-date short, definitely short considering it was a Friday and it is the day I care about being back on time the least. We said au revoir and I drove back to work. As I was pulling in, I saw multiple cars leaving. Far too many to be normal. On top of that, there was a security guard blocking this side road new the entrance. I had a feeling of what was happening, but I wasn’t 100% sure. After I got into the lot, I found a spot and saw someone who was nearly to their car and I said to him, “Hey I was just on lunch, what’s going on?”
All he said back was, “Water main break.”
That was all the information I needed. Looks like everyone was headed home. I had to pack my things though! I rush inside and run into someone who tells me what’s going on and that he was informed not to go left when we leave. I thanked him and kept heading towards my desk. Once I got there, I asked the head lady in charge what was up and confirmed I didn’t need to really do anything but leave. I was thankful for that because in that moment, I remembered why I had come back from lunch a few minutes early. POOPS IN THE BUTT!!!! I was fine though, all the commotion made the feeling go away. 1.5 false alarms in a row! You never know when it will hit for real though, so I kinda booked it out of there. On my way out, I saw 2 gentleman I acquaint myself with and haddd to tell them about how God is real and he loves ME because I thought I had to poop and then didn’t and the toilet ended up not flushing. After I received my congratulations and a high five, I joined the parade of cars leaving. Despite my better judgment, I turned left when I exited the lot because I saw other people doing so and I just wanted to see what would happen. The cops had the road blocked off LMAOO. I turned around and went the other way. I had to see if I can see something from the other side though, so I went up and around and out of my way to see a wet road. And you know what? It was worth it because now I don’t need to wonder. I did what I could with the situation at hand. Sometimes you forget about your milkshake, sometimes your milkshake forgets to give you a stomach ache. All we can do with these lemons is our best at any given moment. It never hurts to take time to find gratitude in unlikely places. When you find it, feel it without question.
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