Chey’s Lounge

It’s Monday and I already just feel like it’s a sad and useless week. I need to turn that attitude around, but it feels hard. I need to eat better and exercise more I guess, that helps a little bit. It’s just hard to feel I belong anywhere. Apparently everyone belongs somewhere, but idk. It feels like that’s not the case, but maybe I’m just having a bad day. I feel like I want to just be in a ball. I feel bad for it. Everyone is like you gotta talk to people xoxo but who really wants to listen to someone’s problems? Especially if it’s all of the same ones over and over with little actually being done to address them. It’s kinda hard to address some of our problems though, isn’t it? Like sometimes our issues are super connected to other things and/or contingent. I think health insurance is my biggest roadblock to taking a leap and trying something new. I just am nervous about it and don’t know how it works. I really don’t want to deal with anything regarding it, so I’m essentially stuck at my job. Maybe I need something to be the push to get me out of here. It’s not even that bad. However, it is not a place where I’ll ever be able to thrive or see any lasting value resulting from my work. Maybe I should try to study math. It’s so hard to choose! And as we know from multiple previous posts, it’s impossible to be a master of all trades and no one really cares about Jack. I guess I see why. It’s hard to focus deeply on so many things so like I get the niche thing. We ideally want to do fewer things better. But how do you find what you are best at and where you add the most value? Do I even care about what other people value? What am I supposed to do? I don’t really want to work a minimum wage job, but I certainly see a need for competent people to fill those positions. But like of course we can’t find competent people to on minimum wage, how can they focus on work when they’re trying to survive? Idk what to do. I feel like there’s a problem with too many people at the top having too much and it’s tricking down everywhere. Of course no one wants to dedicate themselves to a job for pennies when the employer doesn’t care about the employee at all. All they think about is their margins and maximizing their time. They see you as a less than normie who slaves away for them. And the. They complain about their employees lol. It’s so funny because they also try to maximize their returns while minimizing inputs, that’s their whole thing, isn’t it? Like I’m just so angry I can’t handle it. 

I just feel so mad at everything and everyone and I don’t understand why everyone else cannot play by the rules because life isn’t fair but then they judge others who also don’t. Like damn man. Is AI even stealing jobs? Or is it an excuse to cut more employees since everything just sucks anyway and they’ve realized we all just tolerate it because we are stuck in this system and if anyone tries to break it they will probably be stopped, violently. lol jk hahaha… unless? I want to be someone who makes things better, but I don’t exactly know where to start. I guess my start is writing about it and organizing my thoughts more rather than just ruminating over it all. Need to start ruminating over things that actually provide value… So, how do we start that? Idk. I’ve been thinking about how to like make an adequate amount of money without feeling sad about it in some way. I don’t know if I could be a business owner, idk if I have that consistent killer instinct that you need. Well, that I think you need. You need if anyone else in your market has it, otherwise you’re toast. Might be talking about things idk about here… but maybe not. If you can’t beat them, join them? Idk. I just don’t want to fail at something stupid. If I’m gonna do something with a high rate of failure, I’d want it to at least be in the name of a valiant cause. 

I don’t want to sell things for the sake of selling or making a sale, I would want to because the product or service provides value beyond the price. Or like at least some value at all. I don’t want to sell a fix to a made up problem and I would want the “selling”aspect to feel like I’m genuinely helping someone if they were to make the purchase, not just my wallet.