Chey’s Lounge

What am I supposed to believe about literally anything? It’s so FRUSTRATING. I’m gonna try to ignore that right now though. It’s soooo hard to not get angry over things I can’t change. I wish there wasn’t so much stupidity in my vicinity lately. It’s driving me positively bonkers! I’m sure you can tell by my lack of depth the past two posts. I literally didn’t have the mental bandwidth available to think about anything. My brain and body were basically pleading with me, begging on hands and knees for me to turn my brain off. The only way out of a situation is through. Or to die. And I don’t really want to die before my mom, so I just gotta get through this stuff for now. 

There are literally so many people going through hard times right now. Countless people’s lives are going haywire right now. I know there’s so much I don’t know, but one thing I do know is there’s a lot of pain out there in the world right now. Sometimes when I’m feeling pain (emotional), I kinda do wish the worst for people in the moment. Trying to stop doing that so much, but I am simply bursting with both love and hate. And sometimes they just be flying out of all of my orifices. Once I settle down, I usually am able to be more even keeled, but there’s a lot of times I simply go bananas. Those times do coincide with when I am going through a few tough things at a time. I’m really not one of gods strongest soldiers, I can handle a tough-ish battle, but I can’t keep going and going. I don’t have a lot of stamina. I can deal with one crisis pretty well, but once more stuff starts getting thrown at me, things can start to get a little out of control. I can ultimately handle it, but oftentimes it is extremely poorly. I’m not sure what the definition of “handling it” really is. I get through it, just like most people get through things. Most people don’t die everyday, so they be getting through it. 

To be honest, I got a little off track here. I was going to tie in not knowing things with what’s going on in the crypto world right now. I know that I don’t know enough about leverage to use it as a trading strategy. I probably wouldn’t use it even if I did. I’m generally pretty risk averse. Unless, of course, I’m not thinking straight. Then I’m quite risk tolerant. Crypto is just something I don’t know enough about to invest in. I definitely would never invest in shit coins, I don’t want to gamble in that way. Most things in love kind of come down to being a gamble though… do you agree?