Chey’s Lounge

My brain is once again lacking the capacity to write something substantial and cohesive, so I’m trying to think of what could be fun to just chat about for a little while. I was thinking about how I feel like I don’t have enough time to do anything besides go to work. It feels impossible to get anything done that is necessary to maintain a standard of living that meets my needs. I don’t feel like I can paint or organize even though I moved to a new place in January (it’s October 15th). It’s hard to feel like I can read or get into a good TV show because I should be doing other things that matter more. I don’t keep up with the bathroom or kitchen as much as I’d like, but compared to other people, my stuff is pretty clean. Well, kitchen is a little unorganized, but not really gross. I don’t even feel like I have time to cook for myself, so it doesn’t even matter that much! I work the night shift. Maybe that’s my issue. Maybe I have other issues and that doesn’t help them.   I’m definitely a procrastinator, maybe that’s source of the dread feeling like I have no time for anything. 

Id love to say that I’d love to know the root of my problems, but I don’t think I do. I seem to actively avoid criticism. Not even just that, really any type of feedback. Makes me nervous. I haveee to get over that one day, but it’s so hard. I’m not in the mood to try. I’d like to avoid the uncomfortable feelings it brings to the surface at all costs, even progress, peace, and prosperity I guess! So, I avoid things, people, situations. Idk where it gets me, but it is what it is for now. I guess it’s good that I’m acknowledging it? Is that the first step to fixing a problem? 

Surprisingly, I don’t want to think about this stuff anymore. Let’s get back to my original thought that sparked this post – I sorta miss feeling like I have the time and mental capacity to get into a good TV show. I guess our lives are a little different these days and content has been keeping pace with the changes in things like attention spans and viewing habits. Theresa were times in my life where a TV show meant a lot to me. I’m not in the mood to italicize I’m sorry, but three of my favorite shows of all time are LOST, The Leftovers, and The OA. I am literally Devastated The OA was cancelled, even 6 years later. I love a show with character development. I like seeing characters grow and just like all sides of them. I can’t help but relate to most characters, good or bad. I see the good in bad people, but I also see the bad in good people. I think I’ve discussed this a bit previously. Idk if that’s a good or bad quality. Maybe I’ll pause here for now. 

What’s your favorite show?