The juices are NOT flowing today. I don’t feel any better than I did yesterday. I need like a massage or something probably. My body is lost within itself. It can’t figure out how to heal! Maybe I’m being dramatic and delusional right now. That’s okay. Another day where I don’t have much to say. My lymph nodes feel like there’s frozen peas up in them! Not great! I guess my body is trying to get this stuff out. Maybe I’m not doing enough to help it. Anyone have any tips or tricks for feeling better/recovering? I got Indian food today because I wanted to try my best to get something I’d actually be able to taste. It worked! Thank you to the subcontinent.
anyways. So yeah, not much to say. The New York Football Giants are quite a terrible team. Quite tragic, if I do say so myself. And you all know that I know tragedy, as confirmed by William Shakespeare in a dream that I never had. I built a Lego Christmas tree tonight. Maybe I’ll post a pic tomorrow. Maybe not. It’s not very impressive, a child could do it. In fact, a child should do it. Let’s give it up for the Cowboys for never giving up. I wish they would win the NFC East this year. Not likely.
I’m generally living in a state of constant embarrassment. I literally have not one clue how to not. I’m very self-conscious and I’m ashamed that I feel such a way! It doesn’t really help much of anything. Throwback to talking about needing balance. I think it’s healthy and necessary for social creatures living in society to have shame, but I think the brain maybe takes it a little too far. It takes a lot of things too far. And fast. Sometimes it’s kinda fun though. I can definitely keep you on your toes!
People can always tell when I’m getting overwhelmed. I think maybe that’s good, gives them the signal to back down bc this bitch about to blow oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh – Kesha. I feel like now is a good time to mention that I’ve had this one post title idea in my head for a while, but I don’t know if the timing will ever be right, “Fist in the Stink”. Maybe one day the stars will align.
Looks like the Knicks may get to the NBA Cup Finals. They’re up by 10 with 1:02 left in the 4th quarter. They did it. Wow, nice. Idk if they’ll win it all. Anything can happen. Good for them. Extra games, how lucky are we fans. Knicks basketball. Anyone here a basketball fan? Lakers? Nuggets?
Watching the Puff Diddler doc finally. He’s definitely a sinister man. I feel bad for some of these people involved. I truly can’t imagine how fucking lit those parties were though. Like, will anyone that close to the visible public eye ever throw something close to a Diddy party again? I’ll never know what it’s like. Unless..? Money definitely loves the company of evil. I just don’t know if I have it in me to be The Boss. Sounds like The Bosses get what they want in life though. Do you agree with the Machiavellian ideology? I just will always think of the means to the end.
What to write about today? Trying to gauge how much I’m up to taking on. Definitely feeling better, but not great. Maybe I’ll just sit on the toilet for a few minutes and write something. I am so ready for bed. I need to start to think about what I’m going to do again. I was getting to it and then I sort of fell off. And now this past week I’ve accomplished basically nothing. I’m making it through, though. That’s gotta count for something, right?
My nose is a little stuffy right now. That’s a new development. I really don’t know exactly what I have. Not the worst thing in the world, but really not ideal at all. I have that little germ issue, if you remember, so it’s extra annoying for me. I get stressed out that I’m going to get someone else sick. So annoying. I took 7 showers in a two-day time period. Not because of the germ thing. I felt significantly better after showering, but I think the hot water was mad at me by the end. Did you know I’ve never changed a diaper? No real desire to, but probably something I should’ve asked a cousin for permission to do with one of their kids just to try it out. I hate rules that make no sense. I like to follow rules, so it pisses me off when it’s just stupid. I hate the litigious society we’ve developed. We need accountability, not schemes and scams.
Change is hard. Even when it’s good. That’s so confusing. People are so weird. I am definitely a person. I don’t feel like it a lot of the time, but it’s true. I’m in this life like everyone else. How tragic. Maybe it’s not tragic. Idk. Ugh. I need the night to end! I wish I weren’t so easily overwhelmed.
Once again feel too ill to write much. I feel better than yesterday at least. In the mood to feel very good LOL. Oh well, it’s okay. It’s life. Kinda wish I had a slice of pizza right now. I guess that’s good bc I absolutely was not interested in a slice yesterday. My throat wasn’t hurting initially, but it’s kinda starting to now. Kinda interesting considering I feel like getting sick usually starts with that. I was kinda sick a lot as a kid. Maybe not a ton, but it felt like more than a lot of other kids. I definitely did not have perfect attendance in school. It was so much easier in college when it’s just a class at a time. Workin g from home… too good, only need to take off if you feel like how I felt yesterday. I should move to a different country maybe.
I was not aware Brain from Arthur is Senegalese. I’ve been pretty into writing lists lately. I wrote a list of chores I needed/should complete a while ago (I will not elaborate on exactly when “a while” is). I still haven’t done some of the things on that list, and there are a few I did do that are already due to be done again ASAP. I wish I worked 15-20 hours a week so badly… oh to have a job and work a little. What a joy that would be. I think. Maybe I just wish I could work when I want to. Like, I think I’d be into needing to complete 49 hours of work during the week. In reality, I’d actually be working a lot more if I was expected to work all of those 40 hours I choose. It’s not like I work every minute I am at work now, so if I was actually working diligently during those chosen 40 hours, there would be a significant increase in my productivity. I almost am talking myself out of thinking that’s a good idea LOL.
I also think I kinda maybe wish I had a whiteboard or chalkboard at home. I’m in the mood to look at and organize school supplies. Speaking of organizing. I need another shoe rack, but I’m not really sure where this one should go. I need to get rid of some shoes, but even if I do… I still need more space. There’s this one room I do have access to that I may be able to make space in. May set up some bookshelves in there. Would be a good space for the shoes (compared to everywhere else).
Is there anything to do with space in the middle of a room? I need a feng shui expert immediately. Maybe like an L-shaped desk? Maybe a little thing that comes down from the ceiling? What type of thing? No further questions, please. I don’t have much time to type because I was watching Knicks vs Raptors on my cellular device. I was thinking about not paying as much attention (I wasn’t paying that much attention to start with) since they were ahead most of the game, but after last season and simply due to being a New York Football Giants fan, I know that no lead is safe. No game is secured until the buzzer goes off, and even then… you have to make sure no shot that went off in time falls into the basket. Even though I wasn’t confident the lead was safe, I would certainly prefer to see them up 15 than down 15. Okay. Will chat soon.
I finally responded to all 3 comments I’ve been meaning to respond to. I haven’t sat in bed in the morning and thought about my values again since that first time. I have a handful of things I either need to do or resign myself to never doing. I can’t remember if I previously talked about a post I saw on the internet about how some people are really tired because they have all of these open loops their brain is worried about and cycling through. I need to close some loops, but if you can imagine for someone with a lot open… it’s hard!
I only have a few minutes left for tonight’s post. I had a busy day today even though I don’t think I got much done. So much more to do. I need to do stuff at old home and new home and work and then I need to apparently do things I like to do so I feel like life is worth living. Things just happen in life and you just gotta roll with it. Like, sometimes your dog just becomes a paraplegic. Not much you can do about it. You can get rid of it, I guess. Can’t just dump all of your issues though. You know what you can do? Take a little stroll. I prefer to stroll outside at a nice temperature. I feel tired. I know I have more in the tank if needed, but I really need to be motivated to tap into that reservoir. I guess the solution is to fill up the tank. Feels hard to fill up these days. Do you agree, or am I just a little bitch?
Omg guys. I’m still sad today! I’m just living out here messing shit up and having to deal with it. It’s a Sunday, so I haven’t had to deal with it quite yet. Not sure if I need to call or if I will be called. So tragic! Whatever :(. Sigh! I tried to make popovers and whipped butter today. It worked out okay. Butter could stand to be a little more whipped. I didn’t really take pics throughout the process this time. I guess I’ll just write about it since I’m still fricken SAD! But at least I’m not cursing like a sailor today! Still didn’t get to comments. I have a lot of flaws. Okay, back to the cooking. Perhaps baking, this time.
Here’s the scene. I have all of the ingredients I need at this point to make what I need to satiate all of my food-related desires. I start by making a milkshake. I have written a milkshake post before. No further milkshake info needed. After the milkshake was made, I started with the butter. It turns out, if you look up how to make whipped butter, it basically always involves whipping up store-bought butter. I was feeling extra, though. I wanted to make my own butter and I wanted to whip it. I am SAD. Making stuff and being over the top with it is one of the few things that can distract my distraught brain. I kinda was too extra but I won’t get all the way into it. It kinda worked out because I basically was mixing the heavy cream in a container in a bowl. The container I used was ever so slightly too small. It worked okay despite me making a little bit of a mess. I used a whisk attachment on an immersion blender. Took a second. It was getting a little hot and heavy, if you know what I mean (the blender was heating up and it’s hard to hold down a button for an extended period of time). I just whisked that pint of heavy cream up and watched her cream (sorry) and finally thicken up and glisten. She was starting to sweat and I knew it was about to happen. Her buttery goodness was breaking up with that deadweight boyfriend of hers: buttermilk. This was not a clean process.
Once I was satisfied with the way the cream incorporated into the butter, I removed it from the buttercream and did something I probably should’ve done second. I immediately just dumped it in ice water. I was feeling like it needed to firm up a little. I eventually ran it under cold water; I probably should’ve just done that first. I put it back into the ice and then I used some cheesecloth to try to squeeze out any excess water and buttermilk. Probably not that necessary. Just squeeze well with your hands. I used a cutting board to try to play with it a little, maybe absorb a little more excess moisture, idk, I tried lol. After this point, I separated 3 tablespoons from the rest of the pack and set aside to use in the popovers. The recipe (https://preppykitchen.com/popovers/#recipe) calls for unsalted butter, and I have none, so I figured that would work. I definitely should’ve double-checked the recipe before making the milkshakes because I was Deathly close to being too low on milk. It’s so possible I was, ever so slightly. The popovers suffered most probably. I had previously set aside 5 tablespoons of milk to put in the freezer for a few minutes to make it extra cold. I was looking up whipped butter recipes, and cold milk seems to be a secret to a better texture. You could use some buttermilk too, but something about it just felt depressing after all of that effort to separate it LOL. I ended up using a little less than that. It took a while to incorporate, and I truly made a mess during my attempt. Once it seemed whipped enough (probably not enough, but you have to understand how bad of a job I was doing), I added some kosher salt and honey. I whipped it up for a while longer to incorporate and also just to do my best to aerate it. It sufficed. Time for the popovers.
If you looked at the recipe, you’ll see it says to use a blender. The blender was dirty from the milkshakes, but a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do, so we got that washed up and then blended those bad boys up. I don’t really use one recipe when I am cooking, but since it was baking, I basically just did what it said. I may have messed up the cooking time a little, I don’t think I really did. I don’t have a popover pan, so that is a disadvantage. I tried my best and although my oven is dirty as heck, I will post a pic. They were a little bit dense, but once again, that’s probably because I used a muffin pan. I was pretty happy with it all. I just like to make things, but it’s so time-consuming. Maybe someone should pay me to cook them like 2 meals a day 4 days a week and then like some extras. I could explore that, but perhaps I will continue to do nothing when it comes to finding something that would make me a little less sad. Don’t feel like driving anywhere… maybe I should order some groceries and stimulate the economy. Idk. Whatever. I just need a little kiss on the forehead maybe. Idk. Ttyl.
Omg guys. I fucking hit a car pulling out of my driveway. You must allow me another day of a short post for I am SAD. By someone, I mean a parked car. I rely too much on the beep beep beep! And it BETRAYED ME!!! I’m on my third beer of the night. I am not gonna write too much unless inspiration strikes. They called the cops bc I like obviously found the car’s owner the cop tried to make me feel better about it. I don’t feel great. It isn’t like that big of a deal. And ugh my car is fine. I wish it was the other fricken way around! I guess there’s a lesson there. Hit em first, bitch!
Have I ever told you about the time a man threw a half gallon of Tropicana orange juice at my head on the streets of Manhattan (I know I haven’t)? Well, here’s how it went down. I was with someone else and they were walking fast, so I was trying to catch up. I was walking fast and ended up walking into a tall, skinny guy who was built like a brick wall. He was so fucking mad I walked into him. He threw his juice at me (prob only like half full). I turned the fuck around and assessed the surroundings. There was a doorman for a building right to my left who was obviously paying attention. The brick wall told me to never fucking walk into him again. I was like okay?? Like we’re in Manhattan, sir? I don’t think I will ever be seeing you again. He definitely called me a bitch. I don’t remember what else. What I do remember is looking at him, looking at the security guard, looking back at him, and yelling, “FUCK YOU CUNT” and then he just looked at me and I walked away. He said nothing else. I’ve yet to see him again. I highly doubt we’d recognize each other at all!! I’m gonna say something very controversial. I lowkey almost feel like he was begging me to hurl a racial slur at him to allow him carte blanche to beat the shit out of me. Unluckily for him, he wasn’t getting that shit outta me. Like, no one would, but considering he was build like a brick wall and already proven to be a looser cannon than I.. like literally, let’s be sooo real, do I look stupid?? Maybe, honestly, perhaps some men could find that more offensive, I just couldn’t say at all either way. I feel like he was shocked. I feel like there’s a chance I wouldn’t have said anything if the doorman wasn’t there. All I know is he was kinda a cunt. Also, a LOT of people, especially older, do not like that word at all. I fucking love it. And you know what? I’m fucking sad tonight, so I cursed my little heart out without remorse. Because I’m just a stupid little bitch and I am sad that I am an idiot. I will reply to comments soon… I wish I were retired. I will enjoy my lone Sunday of the week tomorrow, hopefully. I’ll do my best. I never finished that 3rd beer yet. Not spellchecking once again, btw. I’m a little bit sorry about it. I hope your day was better than mine!
I may come back to edit this bc I did have stuff written, but for now, I just wanted to get my stuff posted without worry or being tooooo late. I would’ve been too late if I were to wait until I get home. I did purchase a physical ticket for when this phone inevitably dies. RIP
How is your day going? Any weekend plans? Miss you all.
Chey’s Lounge 