Chey’s Lounge

Lay down on the chaise lounge with me.

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  • I’m Coloring Fall Themed Coloring Pages I Found on the Internet

    Another day where I don’t have a ton to say. I’m a little warm rn. I feel like I need a little shower. My body just be radiating heat. Anyone else have that issue? I hate being too cold despite this though. I need to go to like northern Canada in November to get my body accustomed to the cold more quickly. I guess I can be one of those cold plunge yuppies actually. I guess a lot of things. 

    I want to read another book like the one I read last week. I’m sure there’s so many good books out there, but sometimes I need a little while to mourn the ending. I am debating on whether or not I should be trying to get into Children of Ruin or find another new book. I think I am interested in another non-fiction book that almost reads like fiction. I want a captivating story told well, but I am in the mood for it to be real. What I really want is to read about discovering aliens. Anyone have any suggestions? Under the water or out of our atmosphere, I want to know what lingers out of sight. 

    Speaking of out of sight… anyone have any thoughts on quantum mechanics and how it relates to us? Does it relate to consciousness? Or even more titillating, does it rely on consciousness? I just have no clue at all. I would love to learn more. Maybe one day I’ll write a post! Speaking of planned posts, I have 2 days to finish my planned post for the 6th.

  • Throwback the the Tiny Thing

    I don’t have a lot I want to say today. I think that’s okay. I will just post something to remain accountable to myself. I’m rooting for the Cowboys tonight, how gross is that? I hope you all are doing well. I love you

  • Daylight Daylight Daylight See You Crying

    Screenshot

    Not only am I a sleepy person, but I’m sensitive to time changes. Maybe it’s all in my head, but my body needs like 2 weeks to adjust to a time change. If I’m traveling for a short period of time, I’m usually alright, but once some time passes, everything catches up to me. I have to admit, there’s only been one time since I’ve experienced a significant time change for more than 2 weeks. 

    Holy moly though, I can’t believe how every single year I forget just how early it gets dark. And we have nearly 2 months of it getting darker earlier. I can’t believe sooo see why seasonal depression exists and why people move close to the equator. Consistent days provide more stability… maybe. I said that definitively, but I’m not that confident. I find it difficult to write with the active voice, more specifically to avoid using the passive voice. Have I mentioned I think it’s violence against women to discourage the use of passive voice? LMAO jk but yeah. Back to being sleepy. I’ve taken 2 naps today (it’s 5:30 PM as I write this). What a waste of my Sunday! And the worst part? I could go for another nap! 

  • Itchy Thighs as We Approached the Cold Season in My Neck of the Woods

    Anyone else watching Game 7 of the World Series? By the time I post this, probably not. I guess I can do this quickly. What’s there even to say? Well, actually so much. Does any of it matter? It matters a little bit. It’s hard to see what matters, what is significant, etc. One thing I was thinking about today is names. When did we begin to name our children? Do other species do that? Does my dog have a nickname for me? How close are we to understanding some sort of dialect of whale languages? What do whales call us? Does it matter, and if so, how much and to whom? 

    I’m really chock-full of questions today. And not only that, it looks like there’s no end in sight! Do names fit the person, or does the person fit the name? Is there a difference? Can it be a little of both (yes)? Are there strong names? I think there are. Does that imply there are weak names? Are there homosexual names, too? Great questions are whirling through my cranium, as usual. I have too many silly questions. It’s hard to know when you should stop asking questions. 

    Is there ever a time when one should stop asking questions? Well, yes, I think there is. It could be for the sake of any number of people, but sometimes you need to stop asking some questions. There are other times when your brain won’t let you stop. It doesn’t happen often, at least not to me, but the brain’s ability to relentlessly pursue truth. You have to be careful, though, for things aren’t always what they seem. Especially if one has an ideal outcome in mind. Outcome bias. Can happen to anyone who isn’t careful! It’s so understandable why the brain seeks out validation and familiarity. 

    Truth can hit someone like a ton of bricks. The truth can change everything. And the truth is like toothpaste, or when the cat is out of the bag. Some things can’t be undone and nothing can be unseen. And here’s the thing… Things change once you see the worms. Once you grow your own plants outside and see what ends up trying to live in and/or feast on them, you have a hard time trusting anything. Sometimes I do everything I can to avoid seeing the worms. Other times, I can’t help myself but to seek them out. 

  • Hey, Happy Halloween, Hooligans! 

    I finished that book I was reading. Good book filled with the complex nuances that make up the lives of individuals and groups of people as a collective. I don’t think deep-sea diving is my hidden passion, but I can see the appeal to others, especially men lol. I think men like to conquer a challenge, prove to themselves the extent of their own capabilities, and to be the one to fill in missing pieces of puzzles. Of course, women have a desire for these things, but let’s be honest, it’s more a man thing. I think it’s okay that there are some stereotypes. I think it’s naive to think there’s no truth behind them. It’s also naive to allow those assumptions to dictate how one approaches reality. Since the book I was reading touched on WWII and Nazis, I’ve been thinking about the soldiers of the Third Reich. I have no idea what most of these individuals thought, and I have no idea the circumstances in their lives that led to them joining the military. Speaking of naive, I think it’s extremely naive to assume what one would do in a situation like that without giving it a tremendous amount of thought. Even then, one really doesn’t know until he or she is face-to-face with a certain kind of adversity. It’s nice to think, “Oh, I wouldn’t do that!” It’s even nicer to think, “Oh, I would do that!” We really don’t know until we know. There’s a lot of shit I’m content with not knowing. 

    This is making me think about another thing I’ve touched on in a few posts. You don’t know what you don’t know. I want to learn about stuff enough to really grasp how much I don’t understand. Nearly everything can be broken down again and again to reveal different complexities. I think once you realize you’re probably never going to get a full grasp on something coincides with when you’ve learned enough to get a decent grasp on it. I can’t believe Agent Orange was real. I can’t believe a lot. I better start believing it though, this is our reality, honeybuns! I hope you all had a wonderful Halloween. Unless you hate Halloween, then I just hope you had a good day. I hope you have a good one tomorrow too. 

  • Perhaps a Paragraph

    I feel like I’ve been spending the past few weeks sleeping and working. I wish I were a hibernating bear. It’s so crazy how we all have the same 24 hours, but some people are just born with a ton of energy, the ability to run on very little sleep, etc. I guess you just need to count your blessings and not dwell on your shortcomings. Maybe there are people who have a lot of energy, but they have to invest it into things that I hardly think about. Some things come easier to some people. I wonder if that’s almost a curse. It makes you think you don’t need to try. But you do. Remember that saying, hard work beats talent if talent doesn’t work hard? Like, if you just try, you’re really doing pretty well. Will you be the best? Probably not, but you will be better than a hell of a lot of people. And why do we need to be good at things anyway? I guess it all comes down to economic advantages. Maybe I should’ve taken a macroeconomics course in college. I guess I can now. This is all one paragraph, huh? Well, I guess we’ll just keep it this way. I am thinking of writing a post about the Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Ravens for November 6. I think it’ll be fun. 

  • A Positive Reason for a Shorter Post

    I think I’m going to keep it short and sour today. I want to spend more of the time I have today reading my little book. I want to be a better storyteller. I can try to improve by telling you guys more stories. That’s a good idea, right? I have a bunch of skills I want to acquire and/or hone. Maybe this desire is steering me away from finding a real niche. Idk. Idk anything, as we all know. It just feels like it would be beneficial to have a solid repertoire of baseline skills.

    I’m not sure how I want to say this, but I will try to articulate how I feel. It’s not just about hard vs soft skills, because I want to develop hard skills. I want to understand computers, fix simple machines, understand fundamentals of accounting… things that would be useful in life, maybe in a business. I will just pursue what feels right for now. Ugh, there’s just so much to know. Like, I want to know about textiles, manufacturing, chemical reactions, bringing AI to life. I just don’t have the background to do anything meaningful to add to it or try it out myself beyond learning. This post needs to be ironed out, but I’m considering just posting it as is. It feels like to get shit done, one needs to either be extraordinarily talented or exceptionally persistent. I think I need to focus on option 2, because option 1 doesn’t seem to fit. Like, I don’t think I’d ever be able to design a laser. Maybe a little robot though. We’ll see. Let’s get back to reading now, we’re trying to keep it positive up in here.

  • Books be Big, Boys!

    I haven’t been as stressed and overwhelmed today as I had been feeling most of the past few weeks. I haven’t really recovered any brain capacity, but I don’t feel my brain actively overheating, so maybe that will come in time. That is, of course, as long as the stress stays at this more manageable level. I’m  about 1/3 of the way through my book. I may as well divulge the title, it isn’t really an embarrassing book. It’s called Shadow Divers: The True Adventure of Two Americans Who Risked Everything to Solve One of the Last Mysteries of World War II by Robert Kurson. I’m enjoying it so far. 

    When I was younger, I’d feel like nearly every book I read was my favorite book. I really enjoy when I’m able to get into something. I’m not one of those people who never does, but sometimes I fool myself into thinking I’m too busy to read. That excused worked when I was in school, but right now, there’s really no excuse to not be reading a book. Well, I think I may have just realized why I haven’t been reading as much lately. I am technically in the middle of a different book, but it’s more dense than I’m accustomed to for a leisurely read. I feel like I need to be in the right headspace to read it. Another thing… I don’t love reading multiple books at a time. (I want to add a kind of aside here… I basically use ellipses the same way LLMs spit out the em dash). Anyway, sometimes I block myself off from reading for months at a time because I just don’t want to start another book, but I can’t bring myself to finish the one I’m reading. Well, I guess I may as well divulge the name of that book too! It’s actually the second book of a trilogy. I feel like if I get through like 50 more pages, I will get to a point where my desire to know what happens next outweighs my indolence. Okay, okay, my bad, it’s the second book in Adrian Tchaikovsky’s Children of Time series, Children of Ruin. I don’t remember exactly when I finished the first book, but it was definitely over a year ago. Maybe I should try to read it again soon. 

    Omg, you’re not going to believe this (you likely will, actually). I just had the thought, “I wonder when I’m gonna have time to get into that though?” LOL. Like girl!! Make time, all you need to do is do it, you have hardly any real obligations. I’m easily distracted and am addicted to social media. I need to force my brain to do “hard” things more! Imagine I actually tried to read something really dense? Well, I mean, that’s just a leisure activity, isn’t it? That’s for retired people. I hope I can retire one day… I have a lot of reading to do. 

  • Not Much to Say Today

    I’m hoping today will be the most stressful day of my week. If that’s the case, the week will be okay. I feel overwhelmed, but I must persevere. There’s really not that much happening in my life considering the amount of things that could happen to a person in their lifetime. I’m gonna try to feel blessed and lucky! I hope you try to feel that way too even though I’m sure there’s stuff that’s getting you down right now. I hope you don’t let it. I hope you have a nice week everyone! We’ll chat more soon. On the bright side, I am reading a book and I like it! It’s about deep water diving.

  • I Did YouTube for the Love of the Game Back in the Day. Just like this blog, I guess. lol

    I’m not a Jets fan, but I was really sad to hear about Nick Mangold  passing away. I know it’s business, so I shouldn’t care about this too much, but I admire players that spend their entire careers with one organization. I remember reading his post pleading for a kidney, and I thought that if anyone had a chance of finding a living donor, it’s probably him. Sometimes things happen faster than we could ever imagine. It’s overwhelming to think about. I think that’s why people usually don’t. I guess I just couldn’t avoid it today. Maybe I need to stay off social media more while I am going through these trying times. I did get a book yesterday, and it seems like I will get into it and read it somewhat quickly, so that should be a little bit of a distraction. 

    The reason I said something about social media isn’t just that one thing today. Earlier, I saw a post about a man saying goodbye to his father on the cusp of succumbing to thyroid cancer. It made me cry. I feel so sad when other people feel pain, even the guaranteed pain from death and taxes. Someone recently told me that my empathy is a strength, but it was in the midst of a conversation about how I still need to do what I have to do sometimes. Very hard! The range of emotions I feel about such a wide array of people is incredible. Maybe it isn’t, idk. I just don’t see it in the majority of people. Doesn’t mean I’m like totally alone in how I be feeling and acting though. I wonder why I feel so much for others while feeling disconnected from most people. I’m just not sure. Maybe I’m more empathetic when I’m overwhelmed myself. There are times where any empathy is drained from my body and I wish the worst onto people and their children. I don’t know why, but it just happens when I’m really mad. Idk if that’s normal, probably a little? Sometimes people ask me why I say the things I do and I have no other response other than in those moments, I really do feel those ways. The moments are fleeting, but they happen. I just need to control myself enough to make it through without causing irreparable damage to my life or future. At least I’m getting older and my future isn’t as… important? 

    I remember going into high school and putting all of my YouTube videos on private, thinking it would prevent me from getting into college. Sigh! I need to follow my own path! It just seems so hard and I don’t want to be a drain on anything or anyone. I want to provide something beneficial to society. I guess my insane YouTube videos from middle school aren’t really a benefit to society, but it’s an example of how I so often feel controlled by these social forces that are likely completely in my head. My head really goes crazy sometimes. Like I’m you, why are you trying to convince me I can’t succeed at anything, so what’s the point in trying? I don’t know how to stop letting myself and others get in my way. I guess it’s good I’m acknowledging out loud (well, out of my mind at least) that I am one of my own obstacles. Probably the biggest one, ultimately.