too ill to write today. Ew
Chey’s Lounge
Lay down on the chaise lounge with me.
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I was not aware Brain from Arthur is Senegalese. I’ve been pretty into writing lists lately. I wrote a list of chores I needed/should complete a while ago (I will not elaborate on exactly when “a while” is). I still haven’t done some of the things on that list, and there are a few I did do that are already due to be done again ASAP. I wish I worked 15-20 hours a week so badly… oh to have a job and work a little. What a joy that would be. I think. Maybe I just wish I could work when I want to. Like, I think I’d be into needing to complete 49 hours of work during the week. In reality, I’d actually be working a lot more if I was expected to work all of those 40 hours I choose. It’s not like I work every minute I am at work now, so if I was actually working diligently during those chosen 40 hours, there would be a significant increase in my productivity. I almost am talking myself out of thinking that’s a good idea LOL.
I also think I kinda maybe wish I had a whiteboard or chalkboard at home. I’m in the mood to look at and organize school supplies. Speaking of organizing. I need another shoe rack, but I’m not really sure where this one should go. I need to get rid of some shoes, but even if I do… I still need more space. There’s this one room I do have access to that I may be able to make space in. May set up some bookshelves in there. Would be a good space for the shoes (compared to everywhere else).
Is there anything to do with space in the middle of a room? I need a feng shui expert immediately. Maybe like an L-shaped desk? Maybe a little thing that comes down from the ceiling? What type of thing? No further questions, please. I don’t have much time to type because I was watching Knicks vs Raptors on my cellular device. I was thinking about not paying as much attention (I wasn’t paying that much attention to start with) since they were ahead most of the game, but after last season and simply due to being a New York Football Giants fan, I know that no lead is safe. No game is secured until the buzzer goes off, and even then… you have to make sure no shot that went off in time falls into the basket. Even though I wasn’t confident the lead was safe, I would certainly prefer to see them up 15 than down 15. Okay. Will chat soon.
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I finally responded to all 3 comments I’ve been meaning to respond to. I haven’t sat in bed in the morning and thought about my values again since that first time. I have a handful of things I either need to do or resign myself to never doing. I can’t remember if I previously talked about a post I saw on the internet about how some people are really tired because they have all of these open loops their brain is worried about and cycling through. I need to close some loops, but if you can imagine for someone with a lot open… it’s hard!
I only have a few minutes left for tonight’s post. I had a busy day today even though I don’t think I got much done. So much more to do. I need to do stuff at old home and new home and work and then I need to apparently do things I like to do so I feel like life is worth living. Things just happen in life and you just gotta roll with it. Like, sometimes your dog just becomes a paraplegic. Not much you can do about it. You can get rid of it, I guess. Can’t just dump all of your issues though. You know what you can do? Take a little stroll. I prefer to stroll outside at a nice temperature. I feel tired. I know I have more in the tank if needed, but I really need to be motivated to tap into that reservoir. I guess the solution is to fill up the tank. Feels hard to fill up these days. Do you agree, or am I just a little bitch?
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Omg guys. I’m still sad today! I’m just living out here messing shit up and having to deal with it. It’s a Sunday, so I haven’t had to deal with it quite yet. Not sure if I need to call or if I will be called. So tragic! Whatever :(. Sigh! I tried to make popovers and whipped butter today. It worked out okay. Butter could stand to be a little more whipped. I didn’t really take pics throughout the process this time. I guess I’ll just write about it since I’m still fricken SAD! But at least I’m not cursing like a sailor today! Still didn’t get to comments. I have a lot of flaws. Okay, back to the cooking. Perhaps baking, this time.
Here’s the scene. I have all of the ingredients I need at this point to make what I need to satiate all of my food-related desires. I start by making a milkshake. I have written a milkshake post before. No further milkshake info needed. After the milkshake was made, I started with the butter. It turns out, if you look up how to make whipped butter, it basically always involves whipping up store-bought butter. I was feeling extra, though. I wanted to make my own butter and I wanted to whip it. I am SAD. Making stuff and being over the top with it is one of the few things that can distract my distraught brain. I kinda was too extra but I won’t get all the way into it. It kinda worked out because I basically was mixing the heavy cream in a container in a bowl. The container I used was ever so slightly too small. It worked okay despite me making a little bit of a mess. I used a whisk attachment on an immersion blender. Took a second. It was getting a little hot and heavy, if you know what I mean (the blender was heating up and it’s hard to hold down a button for an extended period of time). I just whisked that pint of heavy cream up and watched her cream (sorry) and finally thicken up and glisten. She was starting to sweat and I knew it was about to happen. Her buttery goodness was breaking up with that deadweight boyfriend of hers: buttermilk. This was not a clean process.
Once I was satisfied with the way the cream incorporated into the butter, I removed it from the buttercream and did something I probably should’ve done second. I immediately just dumped it in ice water. I was feeling like it needed to firm up a little. I eventually ran it under cold water; I probably should’ve just done that first. I put it back into the ice and then I used some cheesecloth to try to squeeze out any excess water and buttermilk. Probably not that necessary. Just squeeze well with your hands. I used a cutting board to try to play with it a little, maybe absorb a little more excess moisture, idk, I tried lol. After this point, I separated 3 tablespoons from the rest of the pack and set aside to use in the popovers. The recipe (https://preppykitchen.com/popovers/#recipe) calls for unsalted butter, and I have none, so I figured that would work. I definitely should’ve double-checked the recipe before making the milkshakes because I was Deathly close to being too low on milk. It’s so possible I was, ever so slightly. The popovers suffered most probably. I had previously set aside 5 tablespoons of milk to put in the freezer for a few minutes to make it extra cold. I was looking up whipped butter recipes, and cold milk seems to be a secret to a better texture. You could use some buttermilk too, but something about it just felt depressing after all of that effort to separate it LOL. I ended up using a little less than that. It took a while to incorporate, and I truly made a mess during my attempt. Once it seemed whipped enough (probably not enough, but you have to understand how bad of a job I was doing), I added some kosher salt and honey. I whipped it up for a while longer to incorporate and also just to do my best to aerate it. It sufficed. Time for the popovers.
If you looked at the recipe, you’ll see it says to use a blender. The blender was dirty from the milkshakes, but a gal’s gotta do what a gal’s gotta do, so we got that washed up and then blended those bad boys up. I don’t really use one recipe when I am cooking, but since it was baking, I basically just did what it said. I may have messed up the cooking time a little, I don’t think I really did. I don’t have a popover pan, so that is a disadvantage. I tried my best and although my oven is dirty as heck, I will post a pic. They were a little bit dense, but once again, that’s probably because I used a muffin pan. I was pretty happy with it all. I just like to make things, but it’s so time-consuming. Maybe someone should pay me to cook them like 2 meals a day 4 days a week and then like some extras. I could explore that, but perhaps I will continue to do nothing when it comes to finding something that would make me a little less sad. Don’t feel like driving anywhere… maybe I should order some groceries and stimulate the economy. Idk. Whatever. I just need a little kiss on the forehead maybe. Idk. Ttyl.
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Omg guys. I fucking hit a car pulling out of my driveway. You must allow me another day of a short post for I am SAD. By someone, I mean a parked car. I rely too much on the beep beep beep! And it BETRAYED ME!!! I’m on my third beer of the night. I am not gonna write too much unless inspiration strikes. They called the cops bc I like obviously found the car’s owner the cop tried to make me feel better about it. I don’t feel great. It isn’t like that big of a deal. And ugh my car is fine. I wish it was the other fricken way around! I guess there’s a lesson there. Hit em first, bitch!
Have I ever told you about the time a man threw a half gallon of Tropicana orange juice at my head on the streets of Manhattan (I know I haven’t)? Well, here’s how it went down. I was with someone else and they were walking fast, so I was trying to catch up. I was walking fast and ended up walking into a tall, skinny guy who was built like a brick wall. He was so fucking mad I walked into him. He threw his juice at me (prob only like half full). I turned the fuck around and assessed the surroundings. There was a doorman for a building right to my left who was obviously paying attention. The brick wall told me to never fucking walk into him again. I was like okay?? Like we’re in Manhattan, sir? I don’t think I will ever be seeing you again. He definitely called me a bitch. I don’t remember what else. What I do remember is looking at him, looking at the security guard, looking back at him, and yelling, “FUCK YOU CUNT” and then he just looked at me and I walked away. He said nothing else. I’ve yet to see him again. I highly doubt we’d recognize each other at all!! I’m gonna say something very controversial. I lowkey almost feel like he was begging me to hurl a racial slur at him to allow him carte blanche to beat the shit out of me. Unluckily for him, he wasn’t getting that shit outta me. Like, no one would, but considering he was build like a brick wall and already proven to be a looser cannon than I.. like literally, let’s be sooo real, do I look stupid?? Maybe, honestly, perhaps some men could find that more offensive, I just couldn’t say at all either way. I feel like he was shocked. I feel like there’s a chance I wouldn’t have said anything if the doorman wasn’t there. All I know is he was kinda a cunt. Also, a LOT of people, especially older, do not like that word at all. I fucking love it. And you know what? I’m fucking sad tonight, so I cursed my little heart out without remorse. Because I’m just a stupid little bitch and I am sad that I am an idiot. I will reply to comments soon… I wish I were retired. I will enjoy my lone Sunday of the week tomorrow, hopefully. I’ll do my best. I never finished that 3rd beer yet. Not spellchecking once again, btw. I’m a little bit sorry about it. I hope your day was better than mine!
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I may come back to edit this bc I did have stuff written, but for now, I just wanted to get my stuff posted without worry or being tooooo late. I would’ve been too late if I were to wait until I get home. I did purchase a physical ticket for when this phone inevitably dies. RIP
How is your day going? Any weekend plans? Miss you all.
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Sometimes I feel like writing these posts is pointless, but I think it’s good to just have something that I try to do everyday that I don’t have to do. I’ve always been pretty bad at remaining accountable to myself exclusively. There’s usually some sort of outside force motivating me to do something. Most people probably feel this way. Maybe that’s why we have religion. Or at least a reason why. Maybe I’m wrong though and everyone is self-motivated from a fire burning within. I just doubt it.
Haven’t been spending much time on the blog lately (not that I have much in the past LOL). I will get back to it a little better eventually. At least I’ve been posting consistently! You win some, you lose some, eh? Eh?? Lol. Anyways. I can’t remember if I mentioned that free tickets were acquired to ANOTHER show. This one is tomorrow. I am going to go despite uncertainty due to having taken off Monday and Wednesday this week. But oh well, Friday will be a thing too. What are they gonna do, be mad? I say this like I didn’t formally request off each of the 3 days and was approved for each without a word being said. Maybe I am accountable to my own expectations. I do not live up to them. I disappoint myself just as much as everyone else disappoints me, so I maybe it’s a me issue and I should cut everyone, including myself, some slack. I need a new job eventually. I am not fulfilled and I’d like to be! I don’t want to work hard all the time, but I do enjoy working hard sometimes. Maybe I should just become a public accountant and hope AI doesn’t decimate the field. I think I’d fare well with a busy season and then the rest of the year being chill. Maybe their busy season is two long. I think I have like 3 weeks of hard work in me every 6 months or so. Not sure if any employers are looking for that. It’s not like I enjoy slacking off, it’s that I will really push myself if needed. My baseline is still better than the average Joe. I think that’s a problem in a way. I’m not the best teacher because I get things done myself so much more easily. Can’t do everything yourself though. I may not be a good business owner because I am so bad at delegating.
Okay enough with that. Just out here feeling #stressed. I think I may be a little stinky from sweating. Have a little headache. Probably haven’t eaten enough. Maybe I need some more water. Have to deal with it for at least like 200 minutes. Hope I can sleep it off. Another long day ahead of me tomorrow. I should probably do something this weekend since it’s the Giants bye week. I probably will not. I miss my best bud that loves a few hours away. Haven’t gone to see her in a while. I feel like all I think about when I have plans is how much I hope it all goes well enough and I get home okay. I should try to focus on enjoying the medium moments more. I can enjoy small moments and look back and feel I enjoyed some period of time, but I worry about like getting through the day too much. I guess I can try to string the moments I do enjoy together a little more, bit by bit. Maybe I’ll find it easier to enjoy a day fully. I just need to take care of myself and my body will be okay. It’s so hard. Like right now, still have the headache. But sometimes I’m afraid to eat when doing something because I don’t want to bother my belly! Need a nap for now though. Maybe not a nap. Maybe I need a full sleep. I feel warm. Wonder if it’s all the layers and hat I’m wearing. Hopefully not falling ill. I have a history of that classic ocd where I’m kinda afraid of germs. I’m much, much better than I used to be, but not perfect. Need to do a little self-lymphatic drainage massage.
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Starting this at 6:01PM and there probably won’t be much here. Actually, now that it’s 7:25PM… maybe things have changed, maybe there will be much here. Currently just standing around waiting for a concert to start. The tickets were won via contest prize. I don’t love standing for long periods of time. Definitely can be a little tiring. Don’t want to lose your spot though, so you must persevere. I wish shows started earlier. I’m probably going to be so tired later, but such is life. Tickets were won for another show on Friday too. Not 100% sure about that one. Tiring week… feels like I haven’t even been to work in so long though. That’s the problem with work and doing things. I like to have some time to not do things, but there’s just not a lot of time for that. Imagine if I did have a kid? There would be literally 0 time. I need time to reset my beans! It’s whatever tho, just gotta do what you gotta do. Not much else to do. Only way out of this life is to go through it. Just wish it were easier. Almost have to respect this guy just sitting down with his legs crossed in the middle of the floor.
It’s cute watching people live happily. I like watching people happy to be doing whatever it is they’re doing. It’s interesting to see what clothes people choose to wear. Personally, I like to be a little lowkey, I feel nervous that if I wear something outlandish or get a new haircut that people will point it out. That’s so scary. Don’t ask why. No further questions.
Sometimes it’s sad when people are just existing. Just watching people who have a hard time getting around is sad. I want things to just be easier for people. I guess easy doesn’t lead to growth. Idk why we need to be growing out here. Lots of thinking about growth without any noticeable changes being made. Maybe it’s like physical growth and it’s hard to see changes day by day until you really take a second to think about it.
Bro. I just ran to the train. I am dead. This is not getting spell checked
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Just kidding. I haven’t landed anywhere. I’m still lost in the sauce, floating in the space, cloudy with a chance of meatballs. My wrist kinda hurts lately. I had surgery on it a few years ago, but I actually think it’s mostly what they couldn’t address during the surgery that has had lasting effects. The very tip of my right ulnar chipped off. I’m not sure if I would’ve been so confident there were fractures if it wasn’t for that one. Maybe since that was so easy to see, they just were like okay, orthopedic surgeon. If it wasn’t, I wonder if they would’ve seen that there were other fractures or if I would’ve needed to wait for an MRI to know if there was any damage.
Okay, so back to the bone chip. Before the surgery, the doctor said he’d probably put a pin in that spot. Once he got in there, though, it turned out to be too small, so he just sorta left it. I feel like it healed ever so slightly incorrectly, and it bothers me occasionally. I did 6 months of occupational therapy 3 times a week to get the range of motion to be basically acceptable enough. That aspect of it doesn’t really hurt; sometimes it feels tight, but it isn’t like painful. I’d truly rather eat a bowl of male inmate toenail clippings than try to figure out if there’s something that could be fixed. I think probably not, and I’ll just have a little (hopefully) pain occasionally for the rest of my days. Who knows, though? Maybe one day there will be something that fixes all that mess.
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I was thinking about getting some old-school sports franchise apparel since there’s probably some sales. I ultimately decided to resist because I have no idea how much stuff I actually have. I need to figure that out still. I’m just doing a little bit at a time here and there. I should be doing more, but it’s certainly better than doing absolutely nothing. I’m not entirely sure when I need to gather all of my belongings for real, but I am trying to prepare a little bit. I’m not really in the mood to though. I could probably handle getting a few new shirts or something, but I really don’t actually need them. I was thinking about getting non-sports franchise-related hats or a better jacket, but realistically, I probably could look through what I have and feel like I have everything I need. Maybe I should go to a discount store and look for a coat regardless. It’s kinda crazy how much money they can cost. I think the profit margins are probably insane, but maybe I’m wrong. I doubt I am.
So anyways! Speaking of sports (well, going back to), I’ve had something written about the Giants (football) for a few weeks. I am watching them right now and they’re just so bad. I am trying not to be sad about something in the past, but I can’t help it. What could that be that I’m upset about that belongs in this paragraph? Well, I’m only a little upset because I’m kinda crazy, but it’s that I wasn’t able to watch them a few weeks ago when they played and defeated the Philadelphia Eagles on a Thursday night. They are getting absolutely fucking walloped tonight. I can’t believe I’m using my precious time to witness this madness. Oh well. Trying to be grateful for this opportunity to watch them… anyways, here’s what I said when the head coach was fired…
I’m upset about the head coach of my favorite football team getting fired, not because I really love him as a head coach, though. I guess sometimes you need to be good at what you’re supposed to do, not just random things at random times. I think the team’s general manager may deserve to be canned as well.
Sometimes you forecast things going a certain way or a number of different possibilities.
That’s it. That’s all I said. That last sentence… could probably go somewhere with that even though I obviously haven’t up to this point. I think where I was trying to go with that is something along the lines of you can hope for one outcome, prepare for different ones, and still be blindsided by what ends up happening. I guess it is best to be well-prepared, but make sure you don’t allow that preparation to fool you into thinking you know everything or are prepared for anything. Like I’m sorry, but it’s impossible to be well-prepared for anything situation. Like, what if the aliens come during a game, what do you do then if you are a coach? I think that’s more of a question for the officials, but you know what I mean. Maybe.
Life is so unpredictable. Like omg guys, the Giants just scored a touchdown. Maybe all hope isn’t lost. But actually, I lied. I have seen things in this game I have never seen before. We have no hope. This paragraph was written over the course of like an hour or so. Trying to get things done is so hard. Sometimes it’s hard to just do what you want to do because you’re so exhausted from doing what you have to do. I am not sure if I have to watch the Giants, but it feels like it in my soul. So that’s what I will spend the rest of my night (or at least the next hour and a half) doing. I hope you’re all having a good time.
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Chey’s Lounge 