Chey’s Lounge

Lay down on the chaise lounge with me.

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  • Begrudgingly Accepting Commencement

    I’ve been thinking about how the quality of a daily post probably isn’t going to be the highest, but I’m sticking with it for 6 months, at least. I won’t beat myself up if I do happen to miss a day here or there. I’m pleased with myself that I haven’t yet, but at the same time it isn’t entirely surprising because I committed to doing this in my mind. I don’t commit to a lot because when I do, I do. Something like this helps me show myself you can commit to something that you’re not great at just to do it. It’s okay to be mediocre. It’s okay to not be perfect. If I keep writing these little borderline directionless posts, I may find a direction. If not a direction, I’ll at least have multiple starting points for going on deeper dives in the future with the knowledge of knowing which topics are less exciting to me. I’m inclined to believe any topic can be explored to basically no end. That’s basically every PhD dissertation at this point lowkey, just the most random topics you’d never think of in your own and someone has dedicated years of their lives to researching it. Incredible, really. If you can imagine from my previous posts (for anyone new or who doesn’t recall, I’ve been looking for a niche of my own), I really have no clue what topic I feel I could fully commit myself to, to that extent.Theres just so much going on out there. I feel like I’m on the cusp of seeing some parts of the whole that are being obfuscated, but what does that actually bring me? What does vindication bring me? I need to find peace within myself. It’s very hard though. Many things feel hard to me. Something that’s hard to remember is that everything is assessed relative to something else. It’s not the way you start. It’s the way you finish, but you need to start to finish. Starting feels really hard though. Hard relative to what though? Doing nothing? Well then of course it seems a little hard. 

    It’s tough to see what you’re really capable of until you’re presented with no other choice than persevere. Persevering is tough, but it’s one of those things that make you want to look back and see how strong you were. So many times I find myself looking back and thinking about all of the things I’ve done wrong. I need to spend more time trying to change my thoughts to focus a little more on the positive if I’m going to be thinking about the past. I haven’t been through like intense trials and tribulations, but I mean, relative to what I had dealt with previously, I’ve certainly faced some challenges, maybe a little bit of adversity? Probably not. Maybe one day I’ll write a post about one of the things I went through in my teens that had a tremendous affect on the trajectory of my life for years, which basically means forever if you think about it in terms of the butterfly effect. To make an incredibly long story short, I made it through a really difficult time. Sometimes what it took to get through it was literally crossing off every 5-10 minutes. Theres really not much that has compared to that for me. The term “for me” is really holding a lot of weight there though. Relative to cancer treatment, what I went through was so minor. I’ve had a hard time reconciling with determining how much grace to give myself and others based on relative circumstances. I think I’d rather offer more grace than not, but honestly it’s a little hard for me, personally. Like, my mom finds it impossible to hold a grudge and is almost always so understanding, but my dad is basically the total opposite LOL. I can’t help but fall into wanting to be like him, but admiring her. However, I am really not that into getting walked all over. And I do let it happen sometimes, but I react really poorly, so it’s almost like I don’t allow it, but I do, idk LOL. I’m trying to give myself some grace. I’m trying not to judge myself for these mediocre posts too harshly because relative to doing nothing, it’s pretty good. And you can’t expect to be great from the beginning. You have to give yourself room to improve, grace to make mistakes, time to learn. It’s important to just start doing things. If you wait until you’re perfect to start, you’re probably not going to start anything new. No one’s going to be perfect ever, nevertheless when starting something new. My perfectionism prevents me from starting new things. As I’ve said, these daily posts are me trying to break out of that a little bit more. I can jump into something and be fully committed without requiring perfection. I can learn and make mistakes. It consistently takes me a long time to realize/remember this basically whenever I do something. Like, in band when in school. When I started out, I was pretty good at the clarinet. Once the music became a little more difficult in the middle of middle school, I wasn’t really very good. I don’t like failing, so I don’t like, lovee practicing. By the time I finally got good enough at the music I was playing and felt confident enough to just play, it was senior year. I guess the potential was there… maybe there’s a lesson there. Maybe not. Anyway, here’s to just doing more stuff I guess.  We can fix it up later. 

  • Deceptive Honest Shades


    Nothing like a beautiful sunset to get you wondering how much of the world we live in is a lie. Or perhaps just what I am wrong about, what my perception skews. You know one opinion I have where I feel my opinion is objectively correct? One of the first things AI should be replacing is disc jockeys (DJs). Society has evolved past the need for DJs. Maybe I just don’t like them as people, generally. I’m not gonna act like I’m entirely free of judgment. I judge, but I do try to reign in my initial judgments before formulating an opinion on someone or something. I’m pretty open to changing my opinion if presented with different/new facts. I absolutely do understand why some people are uncomfortable doing so because it does feel uncomfortable. One thing I want to briefly mention that’s been on my mind is the government. Not even the government, just government in general. I know that there’s webs of complexities I cannot conceive of, so I don’t want to be toooo judgmental regarding the decisions of policymakers. I just  don’t like being lied to, so it kinda sucks. I hate knowing that I’m actively being lied to. Maybe not about everything, but some things. It would be foolish not to think so simply given track records. But beyond that, some of the lies are really bad. I don’t think it’s like conspiratorial to be skeptical. 

    Like yeah the government lied about certain things in the past, but now they’re good! Just straight up lies in all directions and we just have to be okay with it. How exactly do we know they’re declassifying everything? If this is what they are, what aren’t they? The worst part of it all? I hate bad lies. I want a lie that can hold up to heavy scrutiny. Anything else is ultra disrespectful, like on top of the lying. And I feel like they’re not even trying anymore!!! Thinking about having to life within these arbitrary confines makes life feel less worthwhile. I guess I don’t need to live within them, but generally speaking, I’m kind of a rule follower. A bit of a poindexter. I’m not really a tattletale though, so I don’t get to feel any dopamine rush from that. Maybe one day I can feel comfortable living within the confines I decide. How do I even decide? How do I accept that this is reality? I feel most upset for others who are in really bad situations. I really am quite fine in reality, yet I’m still disheartened. I don’t even feel like I’m disillusioned, I’ve never had dreams of grandeur, I’ve always had low expectations for everything. I was sick a decent amount as a kid. I wasn’t a sickly child, but I definitely didn’t have the best immune system. And worst of all, I tended to get sick when there were school events. This literally started in preschool. I missed something on St. Patrick’s Day and many more events have been missed. Obviously that’s not a big deal, I’m just saying, I’ve known little disappointments for a long time. I’m someone who has always taken these little things to heart. I’ve internalized how these disappointments made me feel in a way that made me live and speak in ways that are open ended. I try to leave myself the least amount of opportunity to be disappointed, yet I’m still disappointed in what’s happening. 

  • Ambivalent While Driving

    Anyone else start forgetting what they want to say as they’re typing it sometimes and think to yourself maybe you should start doing voice memos? I don’t either bc I know I’d never go back to listen to those. I dislike the sound of my own voice even more than the sight of my own words. With that aside, have you ever been nervous?

    I kinda hate watching things I have no control over happen sometimes. I hate seeing the process of how things got to a certain point. What I really hate about it is seeing no one else publicly recognize that they also feel a certain way about a chain of events leading up to something. The catalyst for this thought coming up today was hearing about agricultural subsidies on the news. I have mixed feelings about this because idk exactly how I feel about big corporate farms, but I have to acknowledge food is one of those things where you need to stop the bleeding before fixing what caused the issue. The thing is, it’s not like I’m an agricultural aficionado, yet I can pretty easily grasp what those who are ‘in the know’ say about it, so why can’t politicians? Or do they? We are what we tolerate. The way we react to one thing will affect how we are affected in the future. Everything is connected and this web of connections is so, so difficult to fully grasp. In so many ways, life is a reflection of the body (maybe vice versa actually). This “web” of life I’m referencing is akin to fascia. If you have had a certain type of injury, are just older, etc., you will know what I mean. Sometimes you press on your leg and then you feel something crack in your back. To get one part to crack, sometimes you need to loosen up other parts to sorta “unlock” certain tension or trigger points. It’s so fricken hard to recognize, acknowledge, and understand how things in life affect others. I think LLMs will be like a gua sha body tool, helping maximize efforts to unlock secrets. It’s so hard on our own. Well, it’s so hard on my own. Maybe I should cut politicians some slack. Different people have different abilities to recognize patterns and understand how things can come to be. Actually, maybe that’s a characteristic that’s really important for a politician to have and we should be critical of their ability to do so (or lack there of)

    I keep letting outside noise cloud my mind and it’s making it hard to do things. I’m not that motivated right now. I really should just be locking in and doing something. I could, I just lack the courage to do so. I’m just not sure how health insurance works without a job, so I really don’t feel confident quitting mine to really pursue anything. I don’t know if it’s the cloudiness in my mind causing it to be worse, but I feel like these feelings of ambivalence could be making it worse. There’s so many times where I’ve felt like I was close to not noticing something important, but like I do notice it. It’s a weird feeling. It makes me wonder about the times I’ve just completely missed things. I think this happens to me most while driving. I feel like every time I’m thinking of merging and I check my blind spot to see if I can, if someone is there I just think to myself like, “omg I can’t believe I almost just got into an accident.” Earlier today, I was driving and looking to make a left hand turn onto a busier road from one with just a stop sign. I kinda started inching up to get a better look to my left before realizing someone was crossing the crosswalk. I was like damn, I almost killed a man. I’m so dramatic… gotta stop that… but that’s who I am..? Here we are again, the eternal internal debate of which parts of myself need to be addressed and which need to be accepted. I feel I have a skewed yet somewhat defensive view of myself. I feel like that’s sentence needs to be explained a little further, however, I don’t feel like doing so right now, so maybe that means we’ll end today’s post here. Maybe one day I’ll stop writing in riddles. 

  • I Kinda Feel Like I Need a Ton of Naps Lately and I Think the Amount Going on in the World is the Culprit

    If you can remember back to my last post, I’m on a journey to focus more on controlling what I can. I’m trying to expend less time and energy on things I don’t have control over.  It’s not easy, not entirely sure if it’s possible, but I guess I should keep trying. I just Feel Things so… intensely. All these feelings leads me to getting my own panties in a bunch sometimes. And like, it’s kind of embarrassing and exhausting. All we can do is control how we react. It’s so much harder to control when feeling overwhelmed in general, but we must. Anyone else feel that way?

    I’m trying to learn my body and how it reacts involuntarily. I’ve been trying to pick up on what happens when I start to get stressed. So I can try to do something to get myself away from the stressor or whatever. I think maybe my body just thinks something is wrong all the time. Maybe I need something to block something in my brain. I allow myself to ruminate far too much. I just don’t exactly know the amount of agency I have to do things or not do things, to think or not think a certain way. I don’t know what’s acceptable in so many scenarios. I feel like a stupid idiot sometimes and it’s like my body knows before my brain. But then I can feel it the other way too, like my brain before my body in a way? Idk. This post is gonna be not great, I can tell. At least I’m writing a little one though! That’s good of me, yk, given the Current Circumstances. 

    I feel tired. A man named Isaac Newton once said an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. I do feel like rest is important for me, I’m just never gonna be one of those high energy people that keeps going and going. I know life is for living, but I need time to recover so I can live to the fullest. I’m definitely prone to allowing myself a little too much rest and at that point, it’s not good either. So hard to find the right balance. I guess it is for everyone. I mean, look at the state of the world. I feel like I’m in the middle of a see-saw when what I’m looking for is just a little bench. I don’t even mind if the bench isn’t perfect. An imperfect bench that is stable is better than never getting the good bench to stabilize. What use is it? I feel like that’s politics now, far less compromise is happening and that’s sad. And exhausting. I just want a little stability, but I do feel it’s not like a priceless thing. Stability isn’t the most important thing though. Like you can’t just accept anything in the name of stability. Doing so is female-coded behavior. LOL jk but maybe there’s a little truth in every joke? 

  • I Need to do More Stuff that Makes Life Feel Better, so I’m Gonna Talk About Things I Like to do in Hopes of Inspiring Myself to do Something, Maybe Remember Some Things I’ve Forgotten


     I need to work on my agency, actually trying to influence the outcomes of the things I can control. One thing I want to do that’s on theme with this sentiment is to put forth a more concerted effort to actively do things that make me happy. If someone were to ask me what makes me happy, I’d probably struggle to respond on the spot. So, I’ve decided to just write down some stuff that makes me happy. Some are hobbies, some are activities, and some are just little things. Maybe seeing a list will remind me there’s many things to be happy about. So much joy to find within the tragic chaos even? Well idk if we’ll go that far, but it’s all a matter of perspective. 

    There’s definitely a handful of simple things that make me feel a little a happy. I like stepping on crunchy leaves and pine cones, the sounds and feeling under my foot. I like seeing other people walking. One of the best feelings is being in the “wild” with other animals and they don’t see you as a threat. Just existing among my fellow animals. I enjoy seeing different country’s flags around or different states license plates on the road. I like the way the world smells some days. I simply enjoy lying down and feeling or listening. I like the way thick, manicured grass feels underneath me. I like feeling bubbles against my hands on the surface of a hot tub. I love a clean bathroom. I like things that make me feel satisfied and comfortable. 

    There’s a few things I like to do for sure. Cooking, as you know, is a big one. Eating isn’t far behind. I enjoy going on walks, especially near water. Little cities, towns, and neighborhoods are nice to explore. I like Sudoku, reading a good book, the occasional video game, and listening to YouTube videos. I haven’t been watching much, but I love getting into a TV show. I like to watch sports, football, baseball, basketball, hockey, and really anything. I even like listening to people talk about sports. I like when the Olympics come around. I like to color, carve wood, and tinker with electronics. I used to sew things when I was a kid, but I never got too into embroidery. Another thing I liked to do as a kid was make YouTube videos. All for the love of the game, no monetization back then. And you know what? I did kinda love it. I like just doing silly things. I enjoy building and fixing things, but don’t have the opportunity too that much. I’d be lying to myself and you all if I didn’t say that I love scrolling on my phone LOL…. For better or worse. 

    I’m trying to do things that make me feel more productive or at least happier. I don’t think scrolling on my phone is the most productive use of my time, but I do really love it and I love being in the know. I have informational FOMO more than experiential FOMO. I just want to know it all… for better or worse LMAOOO. Maybe if I come up with more stuff I will edit this post. Perhaps I can just leave a comment. I could just keep it to myself, but maybe it’s good to keep stuff all together in one place. Makes it easier to visualize that there is some good out there! I think I may need to find an activity that is more physical to take up as a hobby. When I finished occupational therapy for a messed up wrist a few years ago, I asked if I could box, they were like yeah. Maybe soon we will pursue that and just get that absolute shit beaten out of us. Totally wrecked. Maybe I need it. Maybe I am stronger than average though…Do you think I should? What do you like to do? Do you have any hobbies?

  • An Ode to Me. The First Blog Post I Never Made

    I think I may have alluded to this in one of my first posts, but I did try to write one blog post a few years ago and it never made it to the internet. I was just looking through my notes to consolidate the random ideas I have managed to write down over the years into the somewhat newly created ideas list. When I came across it, I definitely felt a little embarrassed almost. I guess I’ll feel that way about these posts one day too. Oh well. To combat the embarrassment and to honor my former self, I think today’s post is going to be that blog post that never-was-but-now-will-be. I said in it that one would happen, so let’s make it happen despite it not being the first one. 

    Shut up, I know, I know. Here I am, it’s 1:24 am on a Saturday and I was thinking about how my cousins miss when I was writing a blog and I was thinking about a few things. Then I was like… why don’t I give the people what I want while I’m inspired? In reality, I really should write stuff for at least the next month, technically semester, probably until I die (for the emotional benefits). I also had a teacher and a professor whose words of wisdom I am thinking about. One of them got like fired or something for some sort of sketchy shit, don’t know any hint of a trumor, hardly heard rumors. Anyway, I trust sketchy people, it’s fun. That one (spoiler alert, the teacher), said that it’s good to just like write down whatever you’re thinking so it gets out of your head and you don’t keep thinking about it and going back to it. In reality, it probably sucks if you don’t know how to phrase it, so get it out of there!!! I wouldn’t know if what I write sucks, because I don’t read it over xx. Why? It’s embarrassing. Will I ever get over it? Yeah, probably, but it leaves me a lot of room for personal growth in the meantime. So like maybe if I write my thoughts about silly things then it will help me write less silly things over the next few months. Now heading over to the professor’s advice: practice writing! I think it’s great advice. Like all great and valuable advice, I don’t follow it, but it’s really good. He particularly was like “you should be writing 1,000 words a day.” Like honey, you’re so damn right. What am I practicing for though? Exactly. Nothing. Well technically not, but like, I made it this far…. What’s one more go at it without the practice? Well, i guess it’s also because the person I pay to talk to whenever she gets around to it is having a baby and is taking some time off. I truly hope she wasn’t serious when she said she’s trying to take a month off from everything. Like girl… you’re stronger than me. Yo… you currently wondering what’s happening when someone starts laughing in their dreams? Yeah I wasn’t either until like 14 seconds ago when I was startled and spooked. Speaking of dreams, fuck Netflix, not for the password sharing rules but for cancelling The OA. All the other cancelled shows I can get over, but cancelling a masterpiece like that… go to hell. I mean that soooo seriously, like use all your rich person money, create a super realistic set of Hell, and live there forever. Or buy me bi-weekly massages for like 9 months until my body finally releases all the tension you caused me. Now I’m itchy! Probably because I was exuding all of that negative energy just now. Maybe I just haven’t moisturized my legs enough and it’s been cold and dry the past few days. We’ll literally never know. I’m finally getting tired, it’s 1:50 am. I have little left that I feel like discussing with myself and future historians reading this (whether it be of the high school variety later on this week or one looking for a glimpse of what life was really like in the Old Empire 3,000 years from now, who refer to me as Chey the Elder and revere my take on all the happenings in the world, defining them for how they truly are. Like Tyra messed up with ANTM All Stars. Just unbiased facts here…. Okay well the first one is definitely really likely to happen. I cannot comment on the likelihood of the second. Why can’t I? Shh. 

  • We’re Literally Jumping Right Into It, No Introduction, Nothing but Ragu

    The short rib ragu is the primary reason this dish is a labor of love. I honestly haven’t figured out a great way to get rid of all the fat. This most recent iteration involved me making the sauce the night before. I did so in hopes of allowing the fat to solidify on top, making it super easy to just take out. The thing is, it didn’t work as expected at all. There could be a few reasons for it, but to make a medium length story short, I think I should’ve added more water to allow the fat the opportunity to actually rise atop it. Also, I didn’t finish cooking until like midnight and it needed so much time to cool down before I could actually get it into the fridge, so it probably could’ve used some more time to settle, too. Needless to say, it was a failed attempt, but I will be attempting it again one day. I’m not giving up on the technique yet because it has to be the most efficient way to deal with it when it comes to saving time and reducing the amount of unnecessary waste caused by a technique like skimming it off the top. You can’t just leave it in there and it will inevitably happen with this cut, every blessing has its curse. Let’s get on with this and tell you some more, from the start. 

    Even though I was somewhat proactive and cooked the ragu the night before Lasagna Assembly, I started so late and recommend not doing that. The short ribs need time for the like fat and connective tissue to really break down and the meat to fall apart. The dish literally doesn’t work if the meat isn’t basically shredded on its own accord. You need to cook it until it happens and if it doesn’t happen idek what you could’ve done. 

    Without further adieu, here’s what I do for the ragu. I started with a few English cut short ribs. Seasoned with salt and pepper. Despite the high amount of fat, they do benefit from a little oil in the pan to begin the browning process. I decided to fry up a little bit of diced pancetta in the pot, scooped out the pieces, and then left the rendered fat in there to cook the short ribs in. I try to brown all 6 sides of each, but who knows if I do. Once they’re sufficiently browned. I pour out and reserve the fat that has come out so far. 

    I do use some of that fat for the next step, call it mirepoix; soffritto; diced celery, carrot and onion; whatever. That’s next and into some of the reserved fat it goes. I really let it sweat a little while for this dish. Eventually, I do add crushed garlic. It doesn’t need to sweat as long and I find her more temperamental, so I add her into the pot well into the sweat. She catches up quick. I do use a little salt and pepper at this point, idk if it’s a good idea, I just feel like it can’t hurt to season in layers. I eventually add some tomato paste and stir it all up. I try to way for some browning of the tomato paste on the sides before adding some red wine to give me something to deglaze. Once that simmers down and reduces by let’s say half, then I’ll add beef stock and crushed tomatoes. As you know unless you didn’t read the first paragraphs right up there, we’re in for a long simmer, so we may as well add some aromatics. Maybe some other stuff. For the fresher ingredients of, I use a few sprigs of thyme, rosemary, sage, and a bay leaf or two. I tie that up all up into a bundle and then tie the bundle to a rind of parmigiana and a cinnamon stick. I stick that in there and sprinkle in some other stuff like allspice, ground nutmeg, and a little extra ground cinnamon. Of course more salt and pepper. Maybe some crushed red pepper flakes would be nice too actually. Anyway, let that cook for a while, at least until the meat starts falling apart. I personally like to keep the bones in there. That’s really it for the sauce, let’s move on. 

    Next thing on the list is usually making the lasagna sheets. I guess you don’t need to, but I basically only use my own pasta for lasagna. I use egg yolk, some whites, olive oil, salt, and of course flour. I usually bring the dough together and let it sit for at least 20 minutes or so before working on it one more time and letting it sit a little again. I’ve found that it never hurts to use extra flour when actually making the pasta sheets. I use one of those little machines. The size options are it are 0-9 and I usually go up to 7 for the sheets. I’m still not an expert in storing them after boiling and then putting in cold water. I tried hanging them on the same rack I use pre-boiling but they were slippin’ and slidin’ all over LOL. Not a great idea, but it worked well enough for a sufficient amount to remain in tact for Lasagna Assembly time. 

    The bechemel isn’t a classic bechemel. I add 2 non-traditional ingredients. I literally fucked something up this time LOL. Ugh. The 2 extra ingredients in chey-chemel are parmigiana and ground white pepper. I was trying to be fancy and use my unopened white peppercorn grinder. Tell me why I thought it was a good idea to try to use it over the pot of bechemel and just opened it and half the peppercorns fall out. Half of those that did fall out fell directly into the sauce. I decided it was impossible to scoop and I had to strain them out. It literally smelled like hay for some reason? I didn’t actually grind any in there because I was nervous it’d be too spicy but I actually could’ve used a little more in the end lol. I didn’t add it because I was TRAUMATIZED. But yeah, the traditional aspects of it are melting butter and then adding basically equal parts flour and cook the flour. Once that’s done, you have to add warm/hot milk. It’s not that big of a deal if it’s cold, but it’s literally so much better if it isn’t. You do you if that’s what you prefer, I believe in my heart you can whisk through any potential clumping of you don’t want to warm it up. Once you add all the milk (easier to do a bit at a time), you’ll add nutmeg. If you’re like me when I don’t mess up, you’ll also add ground white pepper and some grated parmigiana around now too. Then just whisk until it’s a little less viscous than desired. It’ll thicken up. Heh. 

    We’re basically ready for Assembly time. I start with bechemel on the bottom before placing down a layer of pasta sheets. I then add another layer of bechemel, a layer of ragu, some basil leaves, and then a some dollops of a little ricotta mix. The ricotta mix is a package of ricotta with fresh chopped parsley, grated parmigiana, and for the first time I also grated low moisture mozzarella. I do a few layers of that and add some slices of the same mozzarella (I want fresh Mozz to work and melt well, but it kinda doesn’t really). I also grated some of the mozzarella on top and added a little parm too bc I was already grating something on there. I put something on top to cover it then throw it in the oven. After a little while I take the cover off and broil it to get the right look and feel for the cheese. And there we are. Let it sit a little while after taking it out before cutting into it. Top it off with a little more basil. Maybe some extra sauce or grated cheese. A little parsley if you want to go overboard. It’s my little labor of love and if you read this I appreciate you. 

  • Cooking

    One thing I haven’t really discussed is I love to cook. I like cooking because I can make food the exact way I like and I can make people happy, probably in that order. Not to brag, but my mom thinks I’m a good cook. She even underlined good and cook twice on the sticky note where she told me. I don’t really cook for her enough. I don’t cook for many people much. I get nervous even though I’m confident I can make anything well and some things incredibly well. I’m way more confident in my cooking prowess over my photography skills. I promise it tasted better than it looked, even though it wasn’t my best.

    So, could this be my niche? Well, it seems as though a lot of people are pretty good, so I don’t think I’ll ever be the close to the best. I’m still wondering if that should stop me from pursuing hobbies… Nevertheless, food is simply not optional, so I will continue cooking no matter what. No amount of fear of being pathetic will stop me from doing it. In fact, this fear it won’t even stop me from telling 

    you how I like to make lasagna. If you know me, you’ve probably heard this recipe and a little bit of the process before. So far, I haven’t told very many people in real life about this at all, so I’m definitely not gonna let that stop me from telling all of you. 

    If you thought there’s a lot of ways to skin a cat, then you’d feel the same about making lasagna. I’m telling you one way to do it. It’s one way I do it, not even the only way I do. 

    I describe lasagna as a labor of love. It doesn’t have to be quite so laborious, but mine lowkey kinda is. To do it all in a day is a bit of an endeavor, but it’s entirely possible. This is a short rib ragù lasagna that I haven’t quite perfected, but this is where I’m at with it right now. You know what I always say, maybe one day I’ll come back to this (that day is actually going to be tomorrow, but not with much of an insight, I’m just tired from cooking and think I’m going to split this int two days. Despite allowing myself extra time to get my beans in order, there may be some additional information to be desired. For example, there will be no measurements. We’ll see if we can give some proportions. If you have any questions, you can ask and I will answer because no one really comments on anything. Your question will not get lost in a sea of others, that’s for sure. I’m going to break tomorrow’s upcoming section down into a few parts. The ragu, the lasagna sheets, the béchemel, the little extras, and putting it all together. Knowing me, there will likely be other things. Only tomorrow knows. You’ll know if you read this after the next post is published. 

  • Offscript

    When life gives you lemons, sometimes you just have to make lemonade before you remember you can make lemon chicken. I find I need to actually state the obvious sometimes before I can move on to something else. Similarly, things can just happen and even though you were going to write about random topics the next 2 days to stick with the theme of creating titles that go together in groups of threes, you’ve decided you need to squeeze a different type of story to fit within that framework. Even if you go off script, you can still figure out a way to make it all work out and cover all your bases, albeit not as planned. I have spent much of my life avoiding getting my hopes up. I choose my words in a way it’s obvious I know the future is up to chance. I think I’m coming to realize that what happens truly is mostly what you make of it. One does have some control over their narrative.

    Anyways, sometimes life goes off script and you just roll with it the best you can, like spelling the title of a post incorrectly to maintain the triplet vibe while remaining true to the post. I guess this story actually fits within this theme and all will come together in the end like a beautiful little… milkshake. Maybe one of my interests is going off script anyway. Without further adieu… 

    “You still have the ice cream out.”

    “Shoot, I forgot, I’ll go make the shake.”

    That’s really where this story starts, it was around 2:25 PM if memory serves me right (if not, it’s close enough!). I was laying in bed, nearly succumbing to the folds of my daily afternoon nap when I heard that. I forgot I had taken out ice cream to make a milk shake. Since you asked, I will tell you how I make them. I am a fierce believer in the sanctity of a chocolate milkshake, but I do use a little vanilla ice cream to bring out the best of the chocolate. I also use some malted milk powder, original, only because I haven’t had the strength to order chocolate online the past few months. Last but not least, the milk. Whole. Recipe aside, I drank the shake. Not too much later, I was off to work. 

    There’s nothing like pooping on company time, right? Well, that is a theme that saved my life yesterday. It was getting close to lunch and a possible urge struck. I decided to head over to one of the less frequented bathrooms before it gets too close to lunch time (where I normally meet a friend down the road). I go in there and the lights are off, it’s exactly what I hope for when I walk into the bathroom. No one awake is in there and if there was someone sleeping long enough the lights turned off then it would be a great story. A win-win in my book. Once I sat down, I realized the urge which led me there had fizzled away. A bit surprising considering the milkshake from earlier, but I wasn’t going to question it. It wouldn’t be the first or last time I’ve had a false alarm. 

    There was still some time before lunch and time wasn’t really that big of a factor. I could technically message my friend asking to meet a little later than usual because a last minute meeting with Mr. Dookie Jones came up. Given that, I decided to just stand up and go back to my desk. The toilet flushed, but not really. Hardly anything happened. I used the manual flush button. Same thing. I tried pushing like 4 additional times, just to see if the toilet paper would go down, knowing deep in my heart the effort was futile. I eventually gave up and went to wash my hands. The water pressure was pretty weak, but enough to successfully get the job done. Thank god, since I was treating that flusher like a senior citizen treats the button of a slot machine seconds earlier and I’m really not that into germs like that. My suspicions were raised. 

    I grabbed a paper towel to dry my hands and the dispenser didn’t function exactly as intended, so the paper towels triggered the sink below to turn on. The water pressure was seemingly better than the faucet to the right of it. Noted it in my mind, went to the door, grabbed the handle with paper towel in hand, of course, and went back to my desk flustered but thankful. Only once I left the bathroom did I realize how lucky I was. I realized how blessed I was- me, Cheyhotdogs. I was there for a reason and if my path didn’t change/I wasn’t willing to accept it, that would’ve been a shitty, embarrassing situation. I know it’s not that embarrassing since no one would know it was me, but I would know, and I wouldn’t be able to help myself. I’d have to tell people despite the embarrassment. True to my nature of having to tell the story, once I got back to my desk, I told a chat with 3 other people about how I was just in the bathroom and the toilet didn’t flush and how I was thanking everything that I didn’t have a meeting with Mr. D. Jones. 

    Not too much later, I ended up going to lunch. On my way out, I went to a water fountain thingy to fill up a water bottle. I’m normally not a very hydrated person, so it was kind of unusual for me to do so. And there was a guy who was walking towards me and he went to it first. I debated just going to buy a new one from the vending machine, but I waited. The guy wasn’t there very long and I think I can imagine why. The flow of the water was probably 1/5 what it normally is. I happened to see someone I know walking past the fountain at the time and asked if he heard about anything. He hadn’t, but he told me he’d let me know and seemed to agree that something was fishy! I decided to fill up my bottle like 1/8 of the way and move on. Just to check, I went into the canteen before heading outside to check the water pressure of the sink. It really didn’t seem that bad, so I was really wondering what the deal could be. I only have 30 minutes for munch though, so I wasn’t gonna embrace my inner Sherlock Holmes at that moment. 

    I met up with my friend and filled her in on my findings while we were sitting in my car. We were just chilling for a few minutes. Neither of us were eating or anything. I wasn’t even drinking water, since I didn’t have any!!! Anyway, I totally admitted to getting a call from Mr. Dookie Jones, the man who controls my life. So we cut our dinner-date short, definitely short considering it was a Friday and it is the day I care about being back on time the least. We said au revoir and I drove back to work. As I was pulling in, I saw multiple cars leaving. Far too many to be normal. On top of that, there was a security guard blocking this side road new the entrance. I had a feeling of what was happening, but I wasn’t 100% sure. After I got into the lot, I found a spot and saw someone who was nearly to their car and I said to him, “Hey I was just on lunch, what’s going on?” 

    All he said back was, “Water main break.” 

    That was all the information I needed. Looks like everyone was headed home. I had to pack my things though! I rush inside and run into someone who tells me what’s going on and that he was informed not to go left when we leave. I thanked him and kept heading towards my desk. Once I got there, I asked the head lady in charge what was up and confirmed I didn’t need to really do anything but leave. I was thankful for that because in that moment, I remembered why I had come back from lunch a few minutes early. POOPS IN THE BUTT!!!! I was fine though, all the commotion made the feeling go away. 1.5 false alarms in a row! You never know when it will hit for real though, so I kinda booked it out of there. On my way out, I saw 2 gentleman I acquaint myself with and haddd to tell them about how God is real and he loves ME because I thought I had to poop and then didn’t and the toilet ended up not flushing. After I received my congratulations and a high five, I joined the parade of cars leaving. Despite my better judgment, I turned left when I exited the lot because I saw other people doing so and I just wanted to see what would happen. The cops had the road blocked off LMAOO. I turned around and went the other way. I had to see if I can see something from the other side though, so I went up and around and out of my way to see a wet road. And you know what? It was worth it because now I don’t need to wonder. I did what I could with the situation at hand. Sometimes you forget about your milkshake, sometimes your milkshake forgets to give you a stomach ache. All we can do with these lemons is our best at any given moment. It never hurts to take time to find gratitude in unlikely places. When you find it, feel it without question. 

  • Geography

    There’s a stereotype that Americans don’t know human geography. The stereotype probably stems from some truth, but not me, I know a thing or two about a thing or two. Well, I at least know where countries are. I’m not incredible with individual cities, but I’m not the worst. And then there’s also physical geography, important stuff if I remember that gen ed class from freshman year of college correctly. 

    College is kinda crazy, the individual professor can really shape what students learn. Some professors are really into one niche and try to connect so much stuff back to it, or branch out in other directions starting from their comfortable home base. My physical geography professor was super into eels in the Hudson River. That was her passion and it was so obvious. She started teaching as an adjunct professor for health insurance, but she didn’t just coast by, she really tried to help people learn the curriculum while also inserting her passion. Beyond that, she was super into voting and handed out applications to register, encouraged students to vote. She took her job pretty seriously and treated it as a civic duty to provide people with an education. She also gave out extra credit, which I loved. Those professors were few and far between in college, fair enough, but when one offers it, you better take advantage. Well, maybe not, I don’t actually think doing well in school has gotten me or will get me anywhere. I don’t know though, something about doing a little extra, especially when it’s not too hard, is good for the soul I think. I think it’s good to learn random things and for one to put their best effort. 

    Geography can encompass a lot of random things, many of which actually pique my interest, so it’s probably one of my favorite subject matters. As you know if you read niches, I really haven’t found what I’d consider a niche interest with utilitarian value. Maybe I should explore different aspects of geography and see if I can come up with an idea of a topic that encompasses my interests while also providing something useful to the world. Let’s not get into defining what is useful quite yet… maybe one day. 

    So, let’s start to explore different sub-disciplines of geography now I guess! Let’s see if I can find something else that I may want to dive into. I’m of the school that there are 2 main branches most sub-disciplines can fall under. I should probably put this paragraph higher up since I mentioned both of them in the first paragraph. I will not be moving it because I simply don’t feel like it, it’s a Friday after all. I think I’m just gonna be listing some fields, not really much more, so it probably works better at the end. While looking into it, the sub-disciplines that stuck out to me most were human, cultural, population, political, historical, and regional geography. Cartography is an honorable mention. I guess I’m just naturally drawn to the humanities over the sciences. I do love the fields that sound made up. If only I could find my little niche! It’s okay though, because we’re trying. That’s better than where I was a little over a week ago. I definitely wasn’t going to figure it out just chilling out. Now, I’m slowly learning what gets the juices flowing a little more than average. Maybe I’ll never find a niche where I can become a real expert, but I’ll learn more. And that’s what I’m really interested, as you may know from my first 3 posts on here. I wish it was profitable and/or useful to be a jack of all trades (especially as a gal), but it feels like it never can be. Anyways, maybe I’ll watch a YouTube video on cartography now.