One thing I haven’t really discussed is I love to cook. I like cooking because I can make food the exact way I like and I can make people happy, probably in that order. Not to brag, but my mom thinks I’m a good cook. She even underlined good and cook twice on the sticky note where she told me. I don’t really cook for her enough. I don’t cook for many people much. I get nervous even though I’m confident I can make anything well and some things incredibly well. I’m way more confident in my cooking prowess over my photography skills. I promise it tasted better than it looked, even though it wasn’t my best.
So, could this be my niche? Well, it seems as though a lot of people are pretty good, so I don’t think I’ll ever be the close to the best. I’m still wondering if that should stop me from pursuing hobbies… Nevertheless, food is simply not optional, so I will continue cooking no matter what. No amount of fear of being pathetic will stop me from doing it. In fact, this fear it won’t even stop me from telling
you how I like to make lasagna. If you know me, you’ve probably heard this recipe and a little bit of the process before. So far, I haven’t told very many people in real life about this at all, so I’m definitely not gonna let that stop me from telling all of you.
If you thought there’s a lot of ways to skin a cat, then you’d feel the same about making lasagna. I’m telling you one way to do it. It’s one way I do it, not even the only way I do.
I describe lasagna as a labor of love. It doesn’t have to be quite so laborious, but mine lowkey kinda is. To do it all in a day is a bit of an endeavor, but it’s entirely possible. This is a short rib ragù lasagna that I haven’t quite perfected, but this is where I’m at with it right now. You know what I always say, maybe one day I’ll come back to this (that day is actually going to be tomorrow, but not with much of an insight, I’m just tired from cooking and think I’m going to split this int two days. Despite allowing myself extra time to get my beans in order, there may be some additional information to be desired. For example, there will be no measurements. We’ll see if we can give some proportions. If you have any questions, you can ask and I will answer because no one really comments on anything. Your question will not get lost in a sea of others, that’s for sure. I’m going to break tomorrow’s upcoming section down into a few parts. The ragu, the lasagna sheets, the béchemel, the little extras, and putting it all together. Knowing me, there will likely be other things. Only tomorrow knows. You’ll know if you read this after the next post is published.
When life gives you lemons, sometimes you just have to make lemonade before you remember you can make lemon chicken. I find I need to actually state the obvious sometimes before I can move on to something else. Similarly, things can just happen and even though you were going to write about random topics the next 2 days to stick with the theme of creating titles that go together in groups of threes, you’ve decided you need to squeeze a different type of story to fit within that framework. Even if you go off script, you can still figure out a way to make it all work out and cover all your bases, albeit not as planned. I have spent much of my life avoiding getting my hopes up. I choose my words in a way it’s obvious I know the future is up to chance. I think I’m coming to realize that what happens truly is mostly what you make of it. One does have some control over their narrative.
Anyways, sometimes life goes off script and you just roll with it the best you can, like spelling the title of a post incorrectly to maintain the triplet vibe while remaining true to the post. I guess this story actually fits within this theme and all will come together in the end like a beautiful little… milkshake. Maybe one of my interests is going off script anyway. Without further adieu…
“You still have the ice cream out.”
“Shoot, I forgot, I’ll go make the shake.”
That’s really where this story starts, it was around 2:25 PM if memory serves me right (if not, it’s close enough!). I was laying in bed, nearly succumbing to the folds of my daily afternoon nap when I heard that. I forgot I had taken out ice cream to make a milk shake. Since you asked, I will tell you how I make them. I am a fierce believer in the sanctity of a chocolate milkshake, but I do use a little vanilla ice cream to bring out the best of the chocolate. I also use some malted milk powder, original, only because I haven’t had the strength to order chocolate online the past few months. Last but not least, the milk. Whole. Recipe aside, I drank the shake. Not too much later, I was off to work.
There’s nothing like pooping on company time, right? Well, that is a theme that saved my life yesterday. It was getting close to lunch and a possible urge struck. I decided to head over to one of the less frequented bathrooms before it gets too close to lunch time (where I normally meet a friend down the road). I go in there and the lights are off, it’s exactly what I hope for when I walk into the bathroom. No one awake is in there and if there was someone sleeping long enough the lights turned off then it would be a great story. A win-win in my book. Once I sat down, I realized the urge which led me there had fizzled away. A bit surprising considering the milkshake from earlier, but I wasn’t going to question it. It wouldn’t be the first or last time I’ve had a false alarm.
There was still some time before lunch and time wasn’t really that big of a factor. I could technically message my friend asking to meet a little later than usual because a last minute meeting with Mr. Dookie Jones came up. Given that, I decided to just stand up and go back to my desk. The toilet flushed, but not really. Hardly anything happened. I used the manual flush button. Same thing. I tried pushing like 4 additional times, just to see if the toilet paper would go down, knowing deep in my heart the effort was futile. I eventually gave up and went to wash my hands. The water pressure was pretty weak, but enough to successfully get the job done. Thank god, since I was treating that flusher like a senior citizen treats the button of a slot machine seconds earlier and I’m really not that into germs like that. My suspicions were raised.
I grabbed a paper towel to dry my hands and the dispenser didn’t function exactly as intended, so the paper towels triggered the sink below to turn on. The water pressure was seemingly better than the faucet to the right of it. Noted it in my mind, went to the door, grabbed the handle with paper towel in hand, of course, and went back to my desk flustered but thankful. Only once I left the bathroom did I realize how lucky I was. I realized how blessed I was- me, Cheyhotdogs. I was there for a reason and if my path didn’t change/I wasn’t willing to accept it, that would’ve been a shitty, embarrassing situation. I know it’s not that embarrassing since no one would know it was me, but I would know, and I wouldn’t be able to help myself. I’d have to tell people despite the embarrassment. True to my nature of having to tell the story, once I got back to my desk, I told a chat with 3 other people about how I was just in the bathroom and the toilet didn’t flush and how I was thanking everything that I didn’t have a meeting with Mr. D. Jones.
Not too much later, I ended up going to lunch. On my way out, I went to a water fountain thingy to fill up a water bottle. I’m normally not a very hydrated person, so it was kind of unusual for me to do so. And there was a guy who was walking towards me and he went to it first. I debated just going to buy a new one from the vending machine, but I waited. The guy wasn’t there very long and I think I can imagine why. The flow of the water was probably 1/5 what it normally is. I happened to see someone I know walking past the fountain at the time and asked if he heard about anything. He hadn’t, but he told me he’d let me know and seemed to agree that something was fishy! I decided to fill up my bottle like 1/8 of the way and move on. Just to check, I went into the canteen before heading outside to check the water pressure of the sink. It really didn’t seem that bad, so I was really wondering what the deal could be. I only have 30 minutes for munch though, so I wasn’t gonna embrace my inner Sherlock Holmes at that moment.
I met up with my friend and filled her in on my findings while we were sitting in my car. We were just chilling for a few minutes. Neither of us were eating or anything. I wasn’t even drinking water, since I didn’t have any!!! Anyway, I totally admitted to getting a call from Mr. Dookie Jones, the man who controls my life. So we cut our dinner-date short, definitely short considering it was a Friday and it is the day I care about being back on time the least. We said au revoir and I drove back to work. As I was pulling in, I saw multiple cars leaving. Far too many to be normal. On top of that, there was a security guard blocking this side road new the entrance. I had a feeling of what was happening, but I wasn’t 100% sure. After I got into the lot, I found a spot and saw someone who was nearly to their car and I said to him, “Hey I was just on lunch, what’s going on?”
All he said back was, “Water main break.”
That was all the information I needed. Looks like everyone was headed home. I had to pack my things though! I rush inside and run into someone who tells me what’s going on and that he was informed not to go left when we leave. I thanked him and kept heading towards my desk. Once I got there, I asked the head lady in charge what was up and confirmed I didn’t need to really do anything but leave. I was thankful for that because in that moment, I remembered why I had come back from lunch a few minutes early. POOPS IN THE BUTT!!!! I was fine though, all the commotion made the feeling go away. 1.5 false alarms in a row! You never know when it will hit for real though, so I kinda booked it out of there. On my way out, I saw 2 gentleman I acquaint myself with and haddd to tell them about how God is real and he loves ME because I thought I had to poop and then didn’t and the toilet ended up not flushing. After I received my congratulations and a high five, I joined the parade of cars leaving. Despite my better judgment, I turned left when I exited the lot because I saw other people doing so and I just wanted to see what would happen. The cops had the road blocked off LMAOO. I turned around and went the other way. I had to see if I can see something from the other side though, so I went up and around and out of my way to see a wet road. And you know what? It was worth it because now I don’t need to wonder. I did what I could with the situation at hand. Sometimes you forget about your milkshake, sometimes your milkshake forgets to give you a stomach ache. All we can do with these lemons is our best at any given moment. It never hurts to take time to find gratitude in unlikely places. When you find it, feel it without question.
There’s a stereotype that Americans don’t know human geography. The stereotype probably stems from some truth, but not me, I know a thing or two about a thing or two. Well, I at least know where countries are. I’m not incredible with individual cities, but I’m not the worst. And then there’s also physical geography, important stuff if I remember that gen ed class from freshman year of college correctly.
College is kinda crazy, the individual professor can really shape what students learn. Some professors are really into one niche and try to connect so much stuff back to it, or branch out in other directions starting from their comfortable home base. My physical geography professor was super into eels in the Hudson River. That was her passion and it was so obvious. She started teaching as an adjunct professor for health insurance, but she didn’t just coast by, she really tried to help people learn the curriculum while also inserting her passion. Beyond that, she was super into voting and handed out applications to register, encouraged students to vote. She took her job pretty seriously and treated it as a civic duty to provide people with an education. She also gave out extra credit, which I loved. Those professors were few and far between in college, fair enough, but when one offers it, you better take advantage. Well, maybe not, I don’t actually think doing well in school has gotten me or will get me anywhere. I don’t know though, something about doing a little extra, especially when it’s not too hard, is good for the soul I think. I think it’s good to learn random things and for one to put their best effort.
Geography can encompass a lot of random things, many of which actually pique my interest, so it’s probably one of my favorite subject matters. As you know if you read niches, I really haven’t found what I’d consider a niche interest with utilitarian value. Maybe I should explore different aspects of geography and see if I can come up with an idea of a topic that encompasses my interests while also providing something useful to the world. Let’s not get into defining what is useful quite yet… maybe one day.
So, let’s start to explore different sub-disciplines of geography now I guess! Let’s see if I can find something else that I may want to dive into. I’m of the school that there are 2 main branches most sub-disciplines can fall under. I should probably put this paragraph higher up since I mentioned both of them in the first paragraph. I will not be moving it because I simply don’t feel like it, it’s a Friday after all. I think I’m just gonna be listing some fields, not really much more, so it probably works better at the end. While looking into it, the sub-disciplines that stuck out to me most were human, cultural, population, political, historical, and regional geography. Cartography is an honorable mention. I guess I’m just naturally drawn to the humanities over the sciences. I do love the fields that sound made up. If only I could find my little niche! It’s okay though, because we’re trying. That’s better than where I was a little over a week ago. I definitely wasn’t going to figure it out just chilling out. Now, I’m slowly learning what gets the juices flowing a little more than average. Maybe I’ll never find a niche where I can become a real expert, but I’ll learn more. And that’s what I’m really interested, as you may know from my first 3 posts on here. I wish it was profitable and/or useful to be a jack of all trades (especially as a gal), but it feels like it never can be. Anyways, maybe I’ll watch a YouTube video on cartography now.
This iconic photo brings me back to earlier this year when Elon Musk emblazoned a borderline bedazzled chainsaw at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) in DC on stage with Argentine President Javier Milei, symbolizing their shared goal of slashing government spending. Back when I first heard the story and saw one of the pictures, it almost reminded me of a little ménage a trois (not really, but that’s how my mind interpreted it basically despite Trump not being there) between Milei, Trump, and Musk. The way they talked down on “globalist” institutions, advocated for privatizing everything, and slashing the public sector like zealots (I won’t act like some of this wasn’t/isn’t necessary in Argentina, but the theater of it was quite off putting). Now, here we are, Argentina’s economy is in the shitter. Inflation ultimately hasn’t been sufficiently reigned in meanwhile austerity measures have made it so over half of Argentines fall below the poverty line. If it weren’t for this $20 billion dollar infusion, there would be so little chance of increased international investments making their way to Argentina despite Elon recommending investing in Argentina in 2024. Now apparently the globalist institutions backed by the U.S. should definitely help bail out the country. Well, not exactly, but ultimately basically considering the US is the largest contributor to the International Monetary Fund (IMF). Why not just get more IMF loans? Well, it seems they broke the rules last time. And also they have like $44 billion still on the books with them. The more I look into this, the messier it gets. Argentina’s modern-day issues stem from a wanna-be fascist, Juan Perón, in the 1940s. Fascinating is a bit of a buzzword, maybe I should be clear and say populist, but I won’t and settled on adding this sentence right here. If history tells us anything, Argentina will probably still be a mess in 2040. Maybe not though.
Things like this make me so angry and are the reason I started a stupid little blog. Probably a good idea for me. I have all of these feelings and I can’t get them out. I can’t remember if I’ve said this, so I’ll say it here, my educational background is in history, international relations, and homeland security, so I do enjoy and have some experience discussing these types of things. The problem is finding people who actually care and even if I can, usually the people are in the same side as me so it is more of a group rant than a discussion that can lead to new perspectives and increased understanding. I really hope most people are agreeing with me here and don’t really support bailing out Argentina/their stock market after everything that has happened/been said the past 2-3 years.
I’m totally not trying to say there’s an easy solution to stabilizing an economy, bringing down inflation, etc., however, there’s just something that really pisses me off about people saying how great and wonderful their economy would be, how this way was the best way, and now it isn’t. There is pain. And why do they care about alleviating this pain right now? Another election is coming up, so they need people to feel good for a little while. So, like I said, I don’t feel like there’s an easy way to fix economic issues due to the social implications, but it has to be done eventually, so I don’t have an issue with needing help in itself. I am just so annoyed that they’d be so interested in taking a little loan, a small handout from the globalists after making it seem like they’re gonna be the bees knees. Like what the heck man. I wish I got to have my cake and eat it too.
I can’t say for sure when I’m not in the situation, but I feel like it’d be much easier to stomach difficult economic times if there wasn’t, you know, A CORRUPTION SCANDAL INVOLVING HIS POLITICALLY INVOLVED SISTER. Karina Milei, his sister and General Secretary of the Presidency. And the scandal involves Argentina’s disability agency, which I feel isn’t quite a cherry on top, but definitely a few sprinkles.
Few things are worse than seeing other people taking advantage of a situation while one is suffering. I don’t know how much has officially come out about
Like I said, this situation didn’t come to be overnight and it will take time to get out of it. I don’t agree with Milei’s general politics, but I don’t know enough to say what I feel about what he has done to bring down inflation and stabilize the peso to say whether or not he is doing a good or bad job. What I do know is corruption is just not fucking good and no matter what your ultimate intentions for the economy are, people shouldn’t accept those in power using it for their own gain so blatantly, especially when it’s their policies causing these socioeconomic issues. You have to publicly come off like you’re struggling just as much as everyone else and if anyone gets wind that may not be true, well, how can you expect them to persevere through hard times for a promise of a better future. Public trust is paramount. Austerity measures are basically never going to lead to immediate popularity, so politicians that implement them, along with their inner circle, must remain on their best behavior. Would you be happy as an Argentine right now? Would you be happy as an American right now?
We are getting close to midnight and I haven’t really written anything coherent today. That’s not good! Here I am trying to change that. No, not trying, I’m changing it. All you can do is something I guess. So I’m doing something. I wish I knew what to do more that would provide more value to people. I want to provide a service and be compensated fairly for it. I don’t necessarily want to get rich as fast and as easily as possible, but that seems to be seen as a pinnacle of success, the smallest amount of work for the greatest profit. I don’t think that is so bad as long as results are excellent. The problem is results oftentimes decline overtime as shareholders demand consistent profit increases no matter the cost. That makes me sad. I want things to consistently get better. I just feel lost as to how I can contribute to it. I guess you start by making yourself better. Not sure if writing is making me better, but I really don’t think it’s making me worse, so that’s good.
I think I first got the idea to write 1,000 words a day from a professor in college once. I definitely didn’t take his advice then, and I’m not really taking it now considering I am not reaching 1,000 words on these posts, but I’m doing something. I definitely should be practicing writing as a skill. It’s one of the few things Im okay at. The problem is the AI stuff… Speaking of AI – everything is an algorithm (did you appreciate the timely em dash there?). This thought, like at least one or two in every post I’ve written prior to this one, may need to be explored a little further. You know what, I’m in my infancy on this. One day it’s gonna be so big and all of the 7 future readers will demand I rewrite most of these and actually go in depth where I say I have more thoughts. But for now, if everything is an algorithm then of course AI is going to be effective. What triggered this thought about algorithms was comedy. Yesterday, I was thinking about comedy and what makes a successful comedian. About how an autistic comedian have great jokes but an awful personality. How is that possible? I think by studying comedy and applying the algorithmic concepts one learns to telling jokes. Where that can fall short is on the fly where it takes time to formulate a perfect response if one doesn’t have the wit and/or comedic timing to roll with the flow of the situation he or she finds themselves in. But yeah, are individuals’ brains wired in a certain, basically algorithmic way? If so, can we alter the algorithm?
Another thing I was thinking of today is being afraid to write openly and filtering myself despite no real reason to. I’m thinking it’s probably something that will fade away in time if I keep writing. Maybe not though. I’m not really trying to say anything controversial, at least that’s not in the plans as of now, but I still feel nervous. Now that I’ve said that out loud (typed with my fingies on a screen), I feel like it’s leading me to this question: who does that benefit? Does speaking my mind to basically no one on the internet really affect anything outside of my little sphere of influence of myself? Is there way I can program this feeling out of myself? Probably, so I guess that answers my question as to whether the algorithm our individual brains run on can be altered.
I don’t want to write too much today and don’t entirely know what to write about, so I decided to tell you about my 17 minute trip home from a BBQ establishment this past Sunday, September 21, 2025. Watch, it’s gonna be long af or something. Nah nah, it probably won’t. It’ll probably be a Goldilocks story, just right. High hopes with that “probably,” but oh well!
This short story really starts December 14, 2024. Before this past Sunday, this was the last time I had seen my beloved brisket chili, a special, on their menu. By the time I had gotten someone to call an order, they had already sold out of that precious poop soup on that fateful Saturday. It was a devastating blow to my heart and since then, I had been looking out for those delicious, smoky chunks of beef. Week after week, either nothing at all, or something, but no chili. Once spring rolled around, I was realistic and accepted my almost certain fate: I’m not getting any brisket chili any time soon.
I’ll admit, I hadn’t even gotten my hopes up yet when last Wednesday, I saw it. There it was. My Sunday linner (lunch/dinner) plans were set. And you can bet your ass I was ordering early. And that’s exactly what I did. They opened at 11:30. I called around noon. They weren’t out of everything. It felt so GOOD. The guy asked when I wanted to pick up and I was like, “l guess as soon as possible?” He asked for a moment so he can look at the board and asked if 12:20 was okay. I was somewhat surprised and said it was. You see, these are the second owners of this establishment and I’m still not accustomed to the way they run things. The original owners had incredible recipes, but they sure as hell weren’t built for food service with any semblance of volume. They would tell you it would be an hour and then it would still be another hour on top of that once you got there. Was simply worth it regardless.
I was trying to express the paraplegic dachshunds bladder and I’m just not great at it sometimes. I put her in her crate and she started yelling at me and her tail was lifting up, which usually signifies poops are in the butt and they are about to not be any longer. So I took her out again and nothing. I was bamboozled. And now I was running a little late. It doesn’t really matter, but I generally prefer to be on time. So my body is already a little on edge. Then, I finally am on my way and totally go the wrong way. If I keep this writing stuff on this little blog, you’ll find going the wrong way while in a rush happens nearly every time I’m panicking and navigating. It’s incredible, honestly. I ended up getting there about 9 minutes late. Everything was good. I was eventually on my way.
I had 2 bags of food. When I put them on the floor of my passenger seat, I knew it wasn’t going to work out exactly as I’d like. And remember, at least one of these bags contains the precious brisket chili. Not long after the journey home begins, one of those bitches just flops over. I tried to pick it up, but it really wasn’t staying upright. So I decided to put it on the seat. I did so knowing I no longer have a vehicle with leather seats and I had no idea what could be happening in that bag looking to leak out. I try to just ignore the leaning tower of Pisa in the passenger seat. The other bag is holding steady on the floor in front of its buddy. This shit on the seat was not cooperating though. I ultimately decided to just hold onto the bag for the rest of the drive. I just so happened to come to this conclusion as a Boeing 737 is landing at the airport I just passed like 15 seconds earlier. Something extremely unsettling to the nervous system about driving with one hand (I’m normally a both hands on the wheel, 9:00 and 3:00 driver), plane a few feet over head, precious cargo in tow. But guess what? I made it home, I ate my Que, and I lived to tell the tale (and now I actually did)! It was good. I was happy. Thank you xoxo.
Okay, I’ll admit the title of today’s post is inspired by my love of a good borderline rhyme. Niches, Choices, Voices. Nice ring to it. Voices. That could go a few different ways. We could discuss the greatest voices of our time, like Whitney Houston or Celine Dion. Maybe voices on the radio? Speaking of, it’s always so weird seeing the faces of radio personalities. Worse when they’re not ugly, like what the heck, what do you mean you don’t have a face for radio? Waste of a position for us uggos! I was leaning more towards a conversation with myself surrounding whose voices should be heard/amplified. If so, does that naturally suggest there are some that should be suppressed? I mean, yeah, probably! The problem is choosing who chooses it.
Even if I don’t have the conversation today, it’s not bad to set myself up for it one day. I guess I’ve been doing a lot of setting up and asking of questions so far. I think it’s okay for now. I’m not the voice of our generation, so I can be a little discombobulated. It’s good find out where one’s own questions and shortcomings lie. Someone with a prominent voice should have those qualities. I feel like it’s possible people with the confidence to be a loud voice/leader may lack the humility to be so open about what areas they have deficiencies. I think it’s much more acceptable to speak out regrading topics one isn’t fully familiar with of the individual openly recognizes it. I think we as a society need to pressure those in higher places to do so more often, otherwise it just leads to a slippery slope of possible misinformation and the general populace formulating opinions based on this unreliable narrator. I guess it is up to us to de platform those who are spreading misinformation, but it’s sooo hard in such a divided society. Then we may start getting into questions of freedom of speech. From prior posts, my humble singular reader knows I am a big fan of the first amendment. Speaking of slippery slopes, I feel like we mostly need to allow free speech, even that which we don’t like. Even though I said mostly, I’m not a grant enough to think we should just allow anyone to say anything. But that’s where the choices question comes back into play: whose voices do we choose to accept?
I was looking at the picks I made in my football pool and it got me thinking about choices. Is there really an illusion of choice? Why do people make the choices they do? Are people choosing to rig NFL games against me specifically? Well, that’s one question I know the answer to: 100%.
Why is it so hard to choose? Maybe it isn’t for others, but sometimes I feel paralyzed by choices, especially when they involve change. It’s obviously a choice to do nothing, but it usually feels so much easier. I think it could be a deceiving feeling, but I don’t want to think too deep into that on a Sunday…. People seem wired to just stick with what they know. I wonder why that is exactly. Maybe I will look it up. Okay, I just looked it up. We are. From what i understand, we prefer familiarity over uncertainty and risk. In many ways, it’s more efficient, especially in the short term, to just maintain the status quo And of course, people have an aversion to losing what they have, even if it means blocking off something new that could be better. Not to get all sexist, but i wonder if women are even more likely to fear change due to their inability to defend themselves if things go wrong. It definitely didn’t benefit women back in the day to just be contrarians, they’re probably just gonna go with what they feel safest with, which is often going to be something they’re familiar with. Is it infantilizing to women to suggest they’re in a less advantageous position to make choices based solely on their free will versus feeling the effects of societal pressure? Idk, not like I’m not one so idc. We’re really out here just weak and vulnerable lowkey… of course bitches are gonna be manipulative! But then why do they choose to behave in ways that could be dangerous? Idk, let’s not go there. Let’s pivot and wrap it up quick ladies and gentlemen.
When writing this, the term “habits” came to mind. I feel like it is hard to make good choices consistently, but it’s also hard to make them at all until you start. I think it’s hard to get into a habit because you feel like giving up if you mess up. The longer you keep it up, the easier it is to maintain the habit. So, starting, that is certainly an obstacle. Making the choice to start is important and I don’t think a fear of not maintaining consistency should stop someone from trying to start something new, especially if the stakes are low. Some people find it hard to start new things, others find it difficult to find something they can stick with. I feel like I fall more in the first category. I don’t love giving up on something once I start. I never even changed a class in college. When I start something, there’s a really good chance I’ve made up my mind to commit to it. The problem is deciding what’s worthy of commitment.
I decided to make a choice to make writing a habit. I decided to post it publicly to hold myself more accountable, despite sharing this with basically no one. Who knows, maybe one day I’m gonna be a writer for real. Jk, I’m not an LLM, my time is gone for that. But hopefully this will make me feel better, give my thoughts a chance to organize, my brain some clarity. Maybe not. I guess no one really knows anything. I do know I’m kinda interested in writing about something obscure, but I’m coming to realize I don’t really want to write too much about shit I don’t really be knowing about publicly. I wonder how the world would change if others, actually, me included, were able to take the time to really understand a topic before speaking on it. I guess it’s fine to speak on anything, it’s just when one chooses to remain closed minded that it’s really a problem. Come to think of it, maybe it is good for people to talk about stuff when they’re ignorant in order to expose it and open them up to education. But people aren’t really very open to that, so maybe it isn’t good. But it could be. We choose how to perceive every situation. We ultimately choose how we think and feel. It’s just really, really hard. Maybe I should explore why one day. Maybe not. Do you know why it’s so hard?
The Merriam-Webster defines it as “a place, employment, status, or activity for which a person or thing is best fitted.” Well, that’s at least one of ‘em. I think the only niche I’ve found is an activity or two. I’m very good at geography games and flag matching quizzes. I’m not the best in the world though. Why does this matter? Well, I keep thinking about a recent post on X by their employee Nikita Bier. In it, he says “…think about one subject matter that you know more about than anyone else in the world. It can be anything…” Something about that is just really not motivating! Like I’m literally not the best or most knowledgeable in anything! And the few things I do excel at are literally so stupid, so useless, so inconsequential… So basically I don’t know how I feel about it all. I am good at some stuff, but not good enough to really help other people efficiently. I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but I would like to provide some value to the world, not just be a drain on resources. It just feels really hard to figure out how to do it. Maybe it’s hard because value is primarily measured monetarily. I’m already starting to feel like I can’t properly articulate my thoughts, rats!
I just feel like everyone knows most stuff has gotten worse recently, but there really doesn’t seem to be a very obvious solution our overlords will allow. Class-conflict is definitely a topic for another day, but it totally applies here. More profit more profit oo aa. Like I get it, but it’s exhausting and I wish innovation didn’t involve thinking about what to do to remain profitable. I know everything is complicated. I know rich people are disappointed by the lower class’ work ethic, competency, commitment, etc., but I really feel like you get what you pay for and you can pay for better. Like let’s be so real, they wouldn’t show up so consistently for what you’re offering, so why do you expect others to? Because you’re better than them? Maybe you are, but that means you need to pay more for better. But everything is about cutting costs maximizing profits.
Like I guess one of my problems in the grand scheme of life is it feels one’s niche must be profitable to be a worthwhile pursuit. Maximize monetization, everywhere. Not to go off topic, but I think I want to talk about the prevalence of the subscription model in ways and places it never should have touched!! There are a few good things though. I don’t think Patreon is a bad thing overall. It is one of those things that enables people to monetize and therefore dedicate time necessary to hone in on their craft. I definitely am not interested in say, a subscription to unlock the full potential of my electric vehicle.
Anyways, back more towards the topic at hand. I feel like most people don’t know what they’re good at exactly. I’m not sure what percentage of people feel they were called to their career/whatever they ended up doing in life. Would love to know. The problem is, I don’t think we can have a society where people can just do what they feel called to and maintain the functionality of all vital institutions. So, who gets to do what they’re called to do? What do we do to help people find a place? How do we deal with people who don’t want a place? What do we do about those who make it actively worse/impossible for others around them, or globally, at a certain level, for others to find theirs? Can one blame anyone other than themselves and if so, to what extent? And I hate to say it as a Yankees fan, but I love the Orieles in all orange :/. Was thinking of making defunct sports franchise knowledge my niche, but I don’t think it’s gonna work. Anyways, anyone out here good at anything?
This is such a simple question, isn’t it? WRONG. But really though, how are you? Jk. The concept of good vs bad is one of those I want to sorta dive into because it can really branch off into… who even knows what. I also think it would benefit my soul to have a solid definition of “good,” my own theory. What is ultimately good and who gets to decide? Can the definition change? Can people be bad then good, vice versa? Are bad people consumed by these thoughts? Is this going to wrap up nicely? (I know the answer to that one, not really!)
So, as I said in the not so distant past, here I am, starting. I’m going to start thinking about this more deeply. As I’m writing this (no like, I really knew the answer before. I’m actually read this one over because it is just a mess), I keep thinking of more questions when I try to come up with answers. I figured it doesn’t hurt to try to get the questions out on the OLED. We can explore again later. I feel like weekends shouldn’t be so serious. It certainly feels a little presumptuous to say I have complex feelings on the subject. I’m sure most people do, so I don’t really know if they’re complex relative to others. Regardless, this question is complicated. I can’t remember when exactly I first started considering it, all I know is after watching LOST many years ago (however, not as it aired) the frequency at which the question popped up in my mind shot up.
I would like to think everyone feels the same when really sitting down and thinking on it. if you don’t, you’re probably not going to really like all of my questions coming up. My train of thought was a new type of train that is off the rails.
Anyways. What kind of mistakes can be made and the person is still good? If there are bad people, what do we do about them? I don’t think it can be reduced down to good or bad, but so many things are labeled one or the other, so it feels like it’s gotta be definitive. I have so many thoughts I am forgetting what I’m thinking before I can finish typing. It’s so hard to express this sentiment. Idk, I just can’t help but see a little good in bad people. I am a hater enough to not be blinded by the bad in good people. I guess good people can do bad things? How does one become a bad person, where is the line? How many bad things can you do before you’re a bad person? I feel like quantifying individual actions is much easier. But there’s still different sides to different people depending on their different perspectives and life experiences. We really don’t know what we don’t know. That applies to everything, but I’ll give at least one fucked up example. So, I can’t help but Feel Things sometimes, like when I see an elderly person eating alone. I wonder if I have wished love and happiness to a bad person. A pedophile? A murder? Do they deserve it less? Well, maybe those people do, but how am I even supposed to know who deserves what?
I feel like ready to stop I guess, so…
What are metrics you use to differentiate good vs bad people and/or actions?
